If you missed it, you can check out all of the nominees in greater detail in the previous post. But now...on to the winners!
LONGEST POST
The Bloggy goes to..."Boo Radley," the post where I detailed my Apollo experience. No surprise there. Lousy objective categories, removing all of the drama...
MOST COMMENTS ON A SINGLE POST
21 comments on "Opening Act," my very first post. It's been all downhill from there. It's time for you readers to step up!
BEST POST TITLE
The burrito one, of course. A subjective category, sure, but in that post's first paragraph I basically name this one the all-time winner in this category. There were some worthy competitors, though. I should write headlines for a New York tabloid.
BEST MULTI-PART POST
My Apollo audition story. The sister missionary story is more entertaining, but I'm not going to give one of my Bloggies for something I didn't even write!
FUNNIEST LINK
I'll give it to the Toyland trailer, but probably just because it's been on my brain lately (tonight is my first viewing of said classic this year).
BEST COLLECTION OF LINKS
I do love stand-up comedy, but I have to go with the dentists on this one. Such a variety of clips: Seinfeld, WWF, horror and musical versions of Little Shop...they're like electronic laughing gas.
BEST UNEXPECTED LINK
I love the horse manure one, but most people don't even realize when they see it that it's a WWF promo. So I'll give the Bloggy to the McDonald's commercial.
BEST COMMENT MADE BY ME
My comment about ice cream at the Brooklyn Bridge was a funny story that should've gone into the original post. It's a winner.
BEST COMMENT MADE BY SOMEONE ELSE
This one was really hard to choose. There were more nominations for this category than any other, and deservedly so. But Joey's impassioned and intelligent case for 4 Non Blondes is ultimately my (just barely) favorite comment anyone has ever left on my blog.
BEST SINGLE PICTURE
Some great choices, but clearly the best is the shot of the marquee promoting a sermon on "eating bacon as a spiritual practice." Partly because it wasn't a posed, planned photo, just something I was fortunate to stumble upon, but mainly because it means Denny's can double as a church.
BEST PHOTO ESSAY
I'm giving the Bloggy to the post about my first Harlem apartment. The pictures aren't great, but I think it's the one with the best captions. So the best picture was a picture of words, and this category was determined by comments and jokes...clearly, it's all about text on my blog.
BEST USE OF SOMETHING I WROTE BEFORE I STARTED THIS BLOG
The April Fools prank was really fun when I first did it, but my post about reunions is one of my favorite things I've ever written. The description of a typical missionary reunion conversation gives that post the edge and the Bloggy.
BEST ANECDOTE FROM MY PRE-BLOGGING DAYS
As good as the Wayne's World story is, it can't top the tale of getting Triple H's gum at a WWF live event. That's just a great anecdote. And anecdote is a great word.
BEST ANECDOTE FROM MY BLOGGING DAYS
The Garry Marshall experience, like the gum story, is something that could never be made up, or recreated. It is extremely Bloggy-worthy. Congrats, Mr. Marshall, and thanks for wearing a tux instead of a dress to make your acceptance speech.
BEST LINE
The Sunday School one is probably the best, but it's Colbert's line, and again, I'm not giving my Bloggies to someone else. I'm gonna go with holy guacamole.
BEST POST
There have been some great ones, but it seems wrong to give this top Bloggy award to any post other than "Boo Radley." It's the centerpiece of my year of writing. The event it describes is the inspiration for the title of my blog, and one of the main reasons I started it in the first place. It was one of the most memorable days of my life, and I feel that the epic prose I wrote about it represents it well.
So there you have it. Thanks for voting, for your other comments, and especially just for reading. Since I'll be hanging with my fam and their dial-up Internet the next few weeks, this may be my final post until '09. But who knows...maybe Santa will leave some DSL in my dad's stocking this year.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Blog of the century
Not sure if anyone caught it, but I recently made a cryptic remark indicating I was approaching my 100th blog post...and here it is! There have been many good moments, and many great moments. Perhaps a few moments of mediocrity, but I choose to ignore them.
Let's relive the highlights of my blog together. Feel free to leave a comment voting for your favorites in any or all of the following categories (write-in votes--and categories, for that matter--are welcome). All candidates will be listed in chronological order. I could probably turn these into actual polls in the sidebar, but that would be extra work for me, plus your "votes" are merely for my curiosity; I already know who the winners are, and I will reveal them in my next post. Without further ado, here's the Best of My Blog.
LONGEST POST
We'll start with an easy one. I like empirically-based categories like this one, because it really makes the announcement of the winner suspenseful. It reminds me of the 1995 SNL sketch (the Deion Sanders episode) where they gave an ESPY to the stadium with the largest seating capacity. Anyway, here are the nominees:
"Opening Act"
"Boo Radley"
"You all, everybody"
"The Hof-ington Post"
MOST COMMENTS ON A SINGLE POST
Same idea here. I wonder who will win?
"Opening Act"
"Hot Pockets!"
"Brownie, you're doin' a heckuva job"
BEST POST TITLE
"I have learned for myself that Presbyterianism makes great burritos"
"Brownie, you're doin' a heckuva job"
"The audacity of slope"
"Girth-am City"
"The Hof-ington Post"
BEST MULTI-PART POST
Each link is to the first part of the series.
The story of my Apollo audition
The story of my Broadway debut
The story of the pregnant sister missionary
FUNNIEST LINK
I'm linking to the post the link appeared in, so you can get the context I used it in. It shouldn't be hard to find the link itself.
Malibu, the gnarly American Gladiator
Babes In Toyland trailer
The "American Free Press"
John Hodgman's hobo documentary
Wikipedia's expert sources
Subway thief gets more than he bargained for
BEST COLLECTION OF LINKS
Jokes about air travel
Weird dentists
My baseball card collection
BEST UNEXPECTED LINK
This is for the links I included where you probably had no idea what would pop up when you clicked on it.
Indubitably delicious
Apache boy!
HOW many rats?
It really was the summer of George
Dusty Rhodes, wrestler for the "common man"
Some people should only dunk Oreos
BEST COMMENT MADE BY ME
My ice cream looked so (bleeping) good
A band named The Kissing Post?
A bunch of inside jokes
Was I a bed wetter?
BEST COMMENT MADE BY SOMEONE ELSE
Rachel: Too busy being maudlin
Joey: B-Pet should have been a pizza boy
Kristina: Me and Kurt both love Colbert
Joey: "What's Up?" is the greatest song of our lifetime
Amy: Loves when I hit her
CJ: Likes girls who like microscopes
Nicole: Great idea for a new show
Marlene: I've got mouth squirts
John: If you don't like AIDS or cancer, vote Walken
BEST SINGLE PICTURE
The ubiquitous shot of me in my hoodie
The church of bacon
Larissa's booty
Me and CP
I should have farewell parties more often
Batman XXL
BEST PHOTO ESSAY
My first Harlem apartment
My office at Columbia
Monday Night Raw!
Auditioning for American Idol
Class of '98 10-year reunion
BEST USE OF SOMETHING I WROTE BEFORE I STARTED THIS BLOG
LOL April Fools prank
LOL lookalikes
Reunions aren't that great
A complicated parody
I like Halloween
Santa is real
BEST ANECDOTE FROM MY PRE-BLOGGING DAYS
Almost seeing A Walk To Remember
Stalking Katie Moeser
A bacon sausage thing
Wrestling gum
Bugs in drag
BEST ANECDOTE FROM MY BLOGGING DAYS
Garry Marshall
"It's not a tuba"
Richard Gore's Barbershop
Canucks invade NYC
BEST LINE
"Unchecked public urination"
"Holy guacamole"
"I teach Sunday School, [mofo]"
"Half-couples"
"Gladiator, Gum or Boy Band?"
"I have staples in my stomach and am not wearing underwear, but [I don't feel] much like a centerfold."
And finally...
BEST POST
I think this may finally be Scorsese's year.
"Nostalgia and newstalgia"
Groundhog Day post
"Boo Radley"
My taste in music
Drive-ins, gum, and pro wrestling
"Faster, higher, tape-delayed"
The first 100 posts have been pretty great, haven't they? The polls are now open.
Let's relive the highlights of my blog together. Feel free to leave a comment voting for your favorites in any or all of the following categories (write-in votes--and categories, for that matter--are welcome). All candidates will be listed in chronological order. I could probably turn these into actual polls in the sidebar, but that would be extra work for me, plus your "votes" are merely for my curiosity; I already know who the winners are, and I will reveal them in my next post. Without further ado, here's the Best of My Blog.
LONGEST POST
We'll start with an easy one. I like empirically-based categories like this one, because it really makes the announcement of the winner suspenseful. It reminds me of the 1995 SNL sketch (the Deion Sanders episode) where they gave an ESPY to the stadium with the largest seating capacity. Anyway, here are the nominees:
"Opening Act"
"Boo Radley"
"You all, everybody"
"The Hof-ington Post"
MOST COMMENTS ON A SINGLE POST
Same idea here. I wonder who will win?
"Opening Act"
"Hot Pockets!"
"Brownie, you're doin' a heckuva job"
BEST POST TITLE
"I have learned for myself that Presbyterianism makes great burritos"
"Brownie, you're doin' a heckuva job"
"The audacity of slope"
"Girth-am City"
"The Hof-ington Post"
BEST MULTI-PART POST
Each link is to the first part of the series.
The story of my Apollo audition
The story of my Broadway debut
The story of the pregnant sister missionary
FUNNIEST LINK
I'm linking to the post the link appeared in, so you can get the context I used it in. It shouldn't be hard to find the link itself.
Malibu, the gnarly American Gladiator
Babes In Toyland trailer
The "American Free Press"
John Hodgman's hobo documentary
Wikipedia's expert sources
Subway thief gets more than he bargained for
BEST COLLECTION OF LINKS
Jokes about air travel
Weird dentists
My baseball card collection
BEST UNEXPECTED LINK
This is for the links I included where you probably had no idea what would pop up when you clicked on it.
Indubitably delicious
Apache boy!
HOW many rats?
It really was the summer of George
Dusty Rhodes, wrestler for the "common man"
Some people should only dunk Oreos
BEST COMMENT MADE BY ME
My ice cream looked so (bleeping) good
A band named The Kissing Post?
A bunch of inside jokes
Was I a bed wetter?
BEST COMMENT MADE BY SOMEONE ELSE
Rachel: Too busy being maudlin
Joey: B-Pet should have been a pizza boy
Kristina: Me and Kurt both love Colbert
Joey: "What's Up?" is the greatest song of our lifetime
Amy: Loves when I hit her
CJ: Likes girls who like microscopes
Nicole: Great idea for a new show
Marlene: I've got mouth squirts
John: If you don't like AIDS or cancer, vote Walken
BEST SINGLE PICTURE
The ubiquitous shot of me in my hoodie
The church of bacon
Larissa's booty
Me and CP
I should have farewell parties more often
Batman XXL
BEST PHOTO ESSAY
My first Harlem apartment
My office at Columbia
Monday Night Raw!
Auditioning for American Idol
Class of '98 10-year reunion
BEST USE OF SOMETHING I WROTE BEFORE I STARTED THIS BLOG
LOL April Fools prank
LOL lookalikes
Reunions aren't that great
A complicated parody
I like Halloween
Santa is real
BEST ANECDOTE FROM MY PRE-BLOGGING DAYS
Almost seeing A Walk To Remember
Stalking Katie Moeser
A bacon sausage thing
Wrestling gum
Bugs in drag
BEST ANECDOTE FROM MY BLOGGING DAYS
Garry Marshall
"It's not a tuba"
Richard Gore's Barbershop
Canucks invade NYC
BEST LINE
"Unchecked public urination"
"Holy guacamole"
"I teach Sunday School, [mofo]"
"Half-couples"
"Gladiator, Gum or Boy Band?"
"I have staples in my stomach and am not wearing underwear, but [I don't feel] much like a centerfold."
And finally...
BEST POST
I think this may finally be Scorsese's year.
"Nostalgia and newstalgia"
Groundhog Day post
"Boo Radley"
My taste in music
Drive-ins, gum, and pro wrestling
"Faster, higher, tape-delayed"
The first 100 posts have been pretty great, haven't they? The polls are now open.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Event horizon
I'm off to a decent start in my effort to be a regular blogger again. But my lack of writing in recent weeks means my readers have missed out on many of my recent adventures! I've done a lot of exciting things in the past six weeks, things that all could've received their own posts, but because of my blog apathy during that period I'm going to cram them all together and just give the highlights. Here they are (at least the ones I can still remember) in chronological order:
WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE TAPING
I went with my friend Aja, and both of us were surprised by two things: they had the same warmup comedian that we saw when we went to a taping of The Daily Show in April, and overall the experience wasn't as boring as we thought it would be. Both of us also failed the 30 question test afterwards, the first part of the audition process to become a contestant. Will I ever achieve my lifelong goal of appearing on a trivia-based game show?
HALLOWEEN
I one-upped all the other guys dressed as Joe the Plumber by wearing my He-Man t-shirt and becoming Joe Sixpack, who happens to be a plumber. I also pinned a sandwich-board poster of sorts to my back, where I made a few political and plumbing puns ("exposing the cracks in the economy," etc.). My own abs look almost as good, but the church dance I went to had a dress code so I had to keep my shirt on. Best costume of the night: a group effort, with the guy dressed as Robert Palmer and some girls as his backup band.
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE TOUR
I joined five of my friends and made my first ever trip to New Jersey (Newark was the closest the SYTYCD tour got to Manhattan). If you watched the show this season and liked it, then you'd like the concert--nearly all of the dances were ones they did on the show. Cat and Nigel were only there in prerecorded video form, which meant the dancers got to show off their mic skills in between performances. They tried to do some comedy bits with Gev and Courtney that didn't really work. The most memorable part of the evening? On the return trip, I fainted on the train! Seriously. It was weird and embarrassing, but ultimately I was ok. Thanks for breaking my fall, Gaby.
YEAR OF CHAMPIONS II
Not as big a turnout as the first one, but still a really good time. I sang my "Complicated" parody, and there were several other impressive talents, including Amy and Becky's mirror dance, Brook's bubble within a bubble, Elin's speedy caricatures, and especially Eric LaRue's Ukrainian hip hop song.
TWILIGHT PREMIERE
Just kidding.
BYU/UTAH FOOTBALL GAME
Obviously, the result was not what I wanted, but the game was still fun. I went to a real sports bar for the first time ever (ESPNZone doesn't count), and was there with about 30 other Manhattan Mormons. I wonder if Blondie's has ever had such a high percentage of their customers on one evening not buy alcohol. The chicken wings were tremendous.
SPECIAL STAKE CONFERENCE
Elder Holland was in town, so we had a special stake conference in the Hammerstein Ballroom (none of the chapels on the island can hold all of the members). It was a really cool experience; I wish I could have church in a place with balconies, especially one that's hosted WWF events, every week. In addition to the uplifting, spirit-filled words Elder Holland spoke, he also quoted Bryan Adams at one point. Seriously.
24: REDEMPTION
Jack is back! And better than ever. Well, better than Season 6 Jack at least. Not that that is hard...but I'm still excited for the new season that starts next month.
THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE
My friend Tamara is a producer for Good Morning America, and she invited me to the ABC VIP parade party at their Times Square studio. It took me forever to make my way through the crowds to the studio, but I got there in time to see Santa pass by, and more importantly, just before they put the breakfast buffet away. I hadn't had a credential of any kind for a long time, so I wore my VIP pass the rest of the day, long after the parade was over.
ENCHANTMENT UNDER THE LEAVES
Thanksgiving dinner was amazing. All of the decorations (title and motif inspired by Back to the Future's "Enchantment Under the Sea" dance) and a lot of the food were prepared by my roommate and his girlfriend. "Borrowing" some tables and chairs from the nearby chapel was more of a hassle than it should have been, but once we got things started it was fantastic. We had 32 people in our apartment for dinner, but there was plenty of food: turkey, stuffing, potatoes (sweet and mashed), stuffed mushrooms, rolls, cranberries (in sauce and ice cream form), pie, pumpkin roll, cookies...oh, and we went through almost 25 bottles of Martinelli's. It was so good.
THE SEXY TOUR
Tamara and I saw Jim Gaffigan (who declared himself a potential "mascot of the Mormons") perform at Town Hall, the venue featured in what is probably my favorite movie, A Mighty Wind. As expected, he was hilarious: jokes about escalators, why camping and recycling are no good, waffle houses, bacon, and tons of other stuff (including Hot Pockets, of course)...it was an hour long tribute to gluttony and laziness. Naturally, I loved every second of it.
WINTER'S EVE AT LINCOLN SQUARE
My first time attending this annual event, and it was a doozy...the Bacon Brothers were there! By movie-star-band standards, they're decent, which means they're decidedly mediocre. But the concert was free, so I won't complain. And I'm envious of Kevin Bacon--you can tell that he's having a great time (evidenced by his Mick Jagger impression and other goofy mannerisms) and doing exactly what he wants to do, and he's in a position financially where it doesn't matter if he succeeds or not. Good for him.
MARTHA STEWART TAPING
Aja and I teamed up for yet another TV taping, by far the most lucrative one yet. While waiting in line before the show, we got free hamburgers, bagels and hot chocolate, and after the show everyone got gift bags full of items featured on the episode, including a really fancy dessert cookbook (a $35 value according to the cover!), a bag of Christmas M&Ms, and Kristin Chenoweth's new Christmas CD (skip to the 3:50 mark of this clip for a funny slip of the tongue from the show, then skip back to the 2:04 mark to see me!).
KNICKS VS. BLAZERS
My second trip to MSG. The Knicks lost to Portland, which continues my lifelong streak of backing the losing team when I attend NBA games (I'm about 0 for 8 overall; this was the first time I went to a game that didn't feature the Jazz). I was with friends and I bought some Cracker Jack, though, so the night wasn't a total loss.
NATIONAL COOKIE DAY
Since I eat cookies on a very regular basis, I usually celebrate National Brownie Day instead, but some friends of mine hosted a Cookie Day party, and I was glad to attend. I brought a tube of cookie dough and some plastic spoons, and it was a big hit. I love things that are both creative and lazy. There were plenty of delicious fully formed cookies to eat too.
NEW YORK IMPROV
There was an after party on Cookie Night. One of the hosts has been taking improv classes at the Upright Citizens Brigade, so a few of us went to watch her coach in a show. It was very funny, very affordable, and not as dirty as I feared it might be (though certainly more adult than Laugh Out Loud). Best of all...even though the performers were good, I didn't feel that they were much above the level of people I've performed with for years. It made me feel good about the shows I've been in in Utah, and made me want to take a class at UCB when I can afford it. It would be great to perform there.
2008 LINGOS
The Lingos are the annual film festival for the Manhattan singles wards. Overall, this year's slate of movies was kind of ho-hum, but there was this gem of an entry starring my roommate Ryan. Here's one I like from last year's Lingos starring several of my friends.
KARAOKE
I joined about 20 of my friends and acquaintances at a downtown karaoke restaurant last weekend, and it was awesome. This wasn't a bar where you sing in front of strangers; we had our own room, with a couple of couches, a giant TV, two mics, and 15,000 songs to choose from. For a lot of the songs, the original music video plays on the screen. Each person pays by the hour. I sang a bunch of songs, but my favorite was getting everyone into the holiday spirit by busting out "Christmas in Hollis."
I did all of these fun things, but did not take a single picture at any of them. You'll just have to take my word for it that they were all great. After all of that, any of you who are living vicariously through me are probably exhausted.
WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE TAPING
I went with my friend Aja, and both of us were surprised by two things: they had the same warmup comedian that we saw when we went to a taping of The Daily Show in April, and overall the experience wasn't as boring as we thought it would be. Both of us also failed the 30 question test afterwards, the first part of the audition process to become a contestant. Will I ever achieve my lifelong goal of appearing on a trivia-based game show?
HALLOWEEN
I one-upped all the other guys dressed as Joe the Plumber by wearing my He-Man t-shirt and becoming Joe Sixpack, who happens to be a plumber. I also pinned a sandwich-board poster of sorts to my back, where I made a few political and plumbing puns ("exposing the cracks in the economy," etc.). My own abs look almost as good, but the church dance I went to had a dress code so I had to keep my shirt on. Best costume of the night: a group effort, with the guy dressed as Robert Palmer and some girls as his backup band.
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE TOUR
I joined five of my friends and made my first ever trip to New Jersey (Newark was the closest the SYTYCD tour got to Manhattan). If you watched the show this season and liked it, then you'd like the concert--nearly all of the dances were ones they did on the show. Cat and Nigel were only there in prerecorded video form, which meant the dancers got to show off their mic skills in between performances. They tried to do some comedy bits with Gev and Courtney that didn't really work. The most memorable part of the evening? On the return trip, I fainted on the train! Seriously. It was weird and embarrassing, but ultimately I was ok. Thanks for breaking my fall, Gaby.
YEAR OF CHAMPIONS II
Not as big a turnout as the first one, but still a really good time. I sang my "Complicated" parody, and there were several other impressive talents, including Amy and Becky's mirror dance, Brook's bubble within a bubble, Elin's speedy caricatures, and especially Eric LaRue's Ukrainian hip hop song.
TWILIGHT PREMIERE
Just kidding.
BYU/UTAH FOOTBALL GAME
Obviously, the result was not what I wanted, but the game was still fun. I went to a real sports bar for the first time ever (ESPNZone doesn't count), and was there with about 30 other Manhattan Mormons. I wonder if Blondie's has ever had such a high percentage of their customers on one evening not buy alcohol. The chicken wings were tremendous.
SPECIAL STAKE CONFERENCE
Elder Holland was in town, so we had a special stake conference in the Hammerstein Ballroom (none of the chapels on the island can hold all of the members). It was a really cool experience; I wish I could have church in a place with balconies, especially one that's hosted WWF events, every week. In addition to the uplifting, spirit-filled words Elder Holland spoke, he also quoted Bryan Adams at one point. Seriously.
24: REDEMPTION
Jack is back! And better than ever. Well, better than Season 6 Jack at least. Not that that is hard...but I'm still excited for the new season that starts next month.
THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE
My friend Tamara is a producer for Good Morning America, and she invited me to the ABC VIP parade party at their Times Square studio. It took me forever to make my way through the crowds to the studio, but I got there in time to see Santa pass by, and more importantly, just before they put the breakfast buffet away. I hadn't had a credential of any kind for a long time, so I wore my VIP pass the rest of the day, long after the parade was over.
ENCHANTMENT UNDER THE LEAVES
Thanksgiving dinner was amazing. All of the decorations (title and motif inspired by Back to the Future's "Enchantment Under the Sea" dance) and a lot of the food were prepared by my roommate and his girlfriend. "Borrowing" some tables and chairs from the nearby chapel was more of a hassle than it should have been, but once we got things started it was fantastic. We had 32 people in our apartment for dinner, but there was plenty of food: turkey, stuffing, potatoes (sweet and mashed), stuffed mushrooms, rolls, cranberries (in sauce and ice cream form), pie, pumpkin roll, cookies...oh, and we went through almost 25 bottles of Martinelli's. It was so good.
THE SEXY TOUR
Tamara and I saw Jim Gaffigan (who declared himself a potential "mascot of the Mormons") perform at Town Hall, the venue featured in what is probably my favorite movie, A Mighty Wind. As expected, he was hilarious: jokes about escalators, why camping and recycling are no good, waffle houses, bacon, and tons of other stuff (including Hot Pockets, of course)...it was an hour long tribute to gluttony and laziness. Naturally, I loved every second of it.
WINTER'S EVE AT LINCOLN SQUARE
My first time attending this annual event, and it was a doozy...the Bacon Brothers were there! By movie-star-band standards, they're decent, which means they're decidedly mediocre. But the concert was free, so I won't complain. And I'm envious of Kevin Bacon--you can tell that he's having a great time (evidenced by his Mick Jagger impression and other goofy mannerisms) and doing exactly what he wants to do, and he's in a position financially where it doesn't matter if he succeeds or not. Good for him.
MARTHA STEWART TAPING
Aja and I teamed up for yet another TV taping, by far the most lucrative one yet. While waiting in line before the show, we got free hamburgers, bagels and hot chocolate, and after the show everyone got gift bags full of items featured on the episode, including a really fancy dessert cookbook (a $35 value according to the cover!), a bag of Christmas M&Ms, and Kristin Chenoweth's new Christmas CD (skip to the 3:50 mark of this clip for a funny slip of the tongue from the show, then skip back to the 2:04 mark to see me!).
KNICKS VS. BLAZERS
My second trip to MSG. The Knicks lost to Portland, which continues my lifelong streak of backing the losing team when I attend NBA games (I'm about 0 for 8 overall; this was the first time I went to a game that didn't feature the Jazz). I was with friends and I bought some Cracker Jack, though, so the night wasn't a total loss.
NATIONAL COOKIE DAY
Since I eat cookies on a very regular basis, I usually celebrate National Brownie Day instead, but some friends of mine hosted a Cookie Day party, and I was glad to attend. I brought a tube of cookie dough and some plastic spoons, and it was a big hit. I love things that are both creative and lazy. There were plenty of delicious fully formed cookies to eat too.
NEW YORK IMPROV
There was an after party on Cookie Night. One of the hosts has been taking improv classes at the Upright Citizens Brigade, so a few of us went to watch her coach in a show. It was very funny, very affordable, and not as dirty as I feared it might be (though certainly more adult than Laugh Out Loud). Best of all...even though the performers were good, I didn't feel that they were much above the level of people I've performed with for years. It made me feel good about the shows I've been in in Utah, and made me want to take a class at UCB when I can afford it. It would be great to perform there.
2008 LINGOS
The Lingos are the annual film festival for the Manhattan singles wards. Overall, this year's slate of movies was kind of ho-hum, but there was this gem of an entry starring my roommate Ryan. Here's one I like from last year's Lingos starring several of my friends.
KARAOKE
I joined about 20 of my friends and acquaintances at a downtown karaoke restaurant last weekend, and it was awesome. This wasn't a bar where you sing in front of strangers; we had our own room, with a couple of couches, a giant TV, two mics, and 15,000 songs to choose from. For a lot of the songs, the original music video plays on the screen. Each person pays by the hour. I sang a bunch of songs, but my favorite was getting everyone into the holiday spirit by busting out "Christmas in Hollis."
I did all of these fun things, but did not take a single picture at any of them. You'll just have to take my word for it that they were all great. After all of that, any of you who are living vicariously through me are probably exhausted.
Monday, December 8, 2008
You better watch out
Last Thursday my friend Holly and her roommates hosted a fantastic party in honor of National Cookie Day, at which they distributed Macy's Santa Claus "Believe" buttons. I've been wearing mine ever since.
A public defense of the existence of Santa is nothing new to me. The earliest incident I can recall where someone told me he wasn't real was in the 1st grade. At recess, a few of us were sitting behind the dumpster (why weren't we playing?), and Cody Wardell tried to burst my bubble. My argument on Santa's behalf: "your parents always wrap your presents, but the presents Santa leaves are always unwrapped" (amazingly, another member of the discussion--I think it was Tyler McHenry--agreed with that flimsy defense).
Several years later, as a member of the Deseret News Teen Editorial Board, I made a much more public and slightly more sophisticated show of support for jolly old St. Nicolas. You can read it via the link, but I'm pasting it in below because I wish to make a few comments (in italics).
"World needs lots of year-round Santas
By Jeff Hofman [My last name is often misspelled, but rarely in this manner. I'm pretty sure they never ran a correction either. Bah, humbug.]
I believe in Santa Claus.
I am old enough and experienced enough in the ways of the world [I was 17] to know that he doesn't really exist, but that doesn't mean that I will ever stop believing in him. More than just an actual being, I believe in the idea. Perhaps it could be called the Santa "Clause.'' [That sentence, as far as I can remember, is the only content change made by the Deseret News editors. I hated it then and I still don't like it. It's not necessarily bad, it's just that I never would have written it. Curse you, Jay Evensen!] Think about it. In today's world of selfishness and greed, it's nice to think that somewhere out there is someone whose sole purpose is to bring happiness into the lives of others. In a world where laziness and racism are the order of the day, it would be great if someone worked diligently year-round to provide gifts for everyone, regardless of the color of their skin [but not necessarily their religion, a thought which apparently never occurred to me back then].
There are many other serious problems in this world that we deal with on a daily basis, but during the holiday season people tend to forget about their problems and display a more caring attitude to those with whom they come in contact. More than at any other time of year, people recognize the needs of others and do what they can to see that those needs are met.
It seems everyone has a portion of the Christmas spirit, the spirit of Santa Claus, inside of them. It is rekindled every November and December.
However, it may be good for Santa Claus that he doesn't really exist. Although in general people are kinder and gentler during the Christmas season, it is not true of everyone. There would be some who couldn't accept Santa or what he does.
He realistically wouldn't be able to make all of his deliveries before the children woke up on Christmas morning; [I originally had a dash here instead of a semicolon, because what follows are the reasons he would fall short of his delivery goals. The way it is now makes it seem like I doubted his abilities to travel around the world in a single night, but nothing could be farther from the truth] would be arrested for breaking and entering or operating a sleigh without a license; would be arrested for driving under the influence by police officers seeing his rosy red cheeks and smelling the eggnog on his breath; or maybe he would be arrested for cruelty to animals.
The elves in his workshop would probably violate child labor laws, and others would accuse Santa of stalking them - after all, he sees you when you're sleeping. [Some of the jokes comparing Santa's lifestyle to regular people in the preceding two paragraphs are borrowed (by which I mean stolen) from an editorial written by my brother Adam for the Murray High School paper a few years earlier. I don't remember which ones are his, but probably more than half, although I'm confident at least one of them is mine. Yes, I have a journalism degree.]
It may sound ridiculous, but it is unfortunately true: A living, breathing Santa Claus would never be allowed to practice his trade in today's society. The ACLU would never allow it.
Because of that, it is up to us to do the jolly elf's work. Like Santa, we shouldn't just concentrate our effort on one day, one week, one month, but work all year to make the world a better place.
Santa would never take a day off, and we shouldn't either. If we kept the spirit of Santa Claus within us 365 days a year, what a difference it would make. When we do it, then not just one but many "Santas'' in fact exist, hundreds and thousands of them. Those Santas - you and I and others - wouldn't need to worry about using the chimney, because we would be warmly invited in through the front door." [One of the main reasons I avoid writing about serious topics is that I have a hard time wrapping them up well, perhaps because I've failed to get my point across. I'm not particularly happy with this ending.]
So now, 11 years later, I am once again on record: I believe in Santa Claus. And Santa, I've been really good this year. So hook me up. You know what I want.
A public defense of the existence of Santa is nothing new to me. The earliest incident I can recall where someone told me he wasn't real was in the 1st grade. At recess, a few of us were sitting behind the dumpster (why weren't we playing?), and Cody Wardell tried to burst my bubble. My argument on Santa's behalf: "your parents always wrap your presents, but the presents Santa leaves are always unwrapped" (amazingly, another member of the discussion--I think it was Tyler McHenry--agreed with that flimsy defense).
Several years later, as a member of the Deseret News Teen Editorial Board, I made a much more public and slightly more sophisticated show of support for jolly old St. Nicolas. You can read it via the link, but I'm pasting it in below because I wish to make a few comments (in italics).
"World needs lots of year-round Santas
By Jeff Hofman [My last name is often misspelled, but rarely in this manner. I'm pretty sure they never ran a correction either. Bah, humbug.]
I believe in Santa Claus.
I am old enough and experienced enough in the ways of the world [I was 17] to know that he doesn't really exist, but that doesn't mean that I will ever stop believing in him. More than just an actual being, I believe in the idea. Perhaps it could be called the Santa "Clause.'' [That sentence, as far as I can remember, is the only content change made by the Deseret News editors. I hated it then and I still don't like it. It's not necessarily bad, it's just that I never would have written it. Curse you, Jay Evensen!] Think about it. In today's world of selfishness and greed, it's nice to think that somewhere out there is someone whose sole purpose is to bring happiness into the lives of others. In a world where laziness and racism are the order of the day, it would be great if someone worked diligently year-round to provide gifts for everyone, regardless of the color of their skin [but not necessarily their religion, a thought which apparently never occurred to me back then].
There are many other serious problems in this world that we deal with on a daily basis, but during the holiday season people tend to forget about their problems and display a more caring attitude to those with whom they come in contact. More than at any other time of year, people recognize the needs of others and do what they can to see that those needs are met.
It seems everyone has a portion of the Christmas spirit, the spirit of Santa Claus, inside of them. It is rekindled every November and December.
However, it may be good for Santa Claus that he doesn't really exist. Although in general people are kinder and gentler during the Christmas season, it is not true of everyone. There would be some who couldn't accept Santa or what he does.
He realistically wouldn't be able to make all of his deliveries before the children woke up on Christmas morning; [I originally had a dash here instead of a semicolon, because what follows are the reasons he would fall short of his delivery goals. The way it is now makes it seem like I doubted his abilities to travel around the world in a single night, but nothing could be farther from the truth] would be arrested for breaking and entering or operating a sleigh without a license; would be arrested for driving under the influence by police officers seeing his rosy red cheeks and smelling the eggnog on his breath; or maybe he would be arrested for cruelty to animals.
The elves in his workshop would probably violate child labor laws, and others would accuse Santa of stalking them - after all, he sees you when you're sleeping. [Some of the jokes comparing Santa's lifestyle to regular people in the preceding two paragraphs are borrowed (by which I mean stolen) from an editorial written by my brother Adam for the Murray High School paper a few years earlier. I don't remember which ones are his, but probably more than half, although I'm confident at least one of them is mine. Yes, I have a journalism degree.]
It may sound ridiculous, but it is unfortunately true: A living, breathing Santa Claus would never be allowed to practice his trade in today's society. The ACLU would never allow it.
Because of that, it is up to us to do the jolly elf's work. Like Santa, we shouldn't just concentrate our effort on one day, one week, one month, but work all year to make the world a better place.
Santa would never take a day off, and we shouldn't either. If we kept the spirit of Santa Claus within us 365 days a year, what a difference it would make. When we do it, then not just one but many "Santas'' in fact exist, hundreds and thousands of them. Those Santas - you and I and others - wouldn't need to worry about using the chimney, because we would be warmly invited in through the front door." [One of the main reasons I avoid writing about serious topics is that I have a hard time wrapping them up well, perhaps because I've failed to get my point across. I'm not particularly happy with this ending.]
So now, 11 years later, I am once again on record: I believe in Santa Claus. And Santa, I've been really good this year. So hook me up. You know what I want.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The Hof-ington Post
[Warning: what follows is a rare post on a serious topic. It's been a month since the election, and based on my track record on this blog, that means it's time for me to get around to commenting on it. Proceed at your own risk. I'm an intelligent person, but I'm not generally interested in politics, policy, economics, etc.; I readily admit that I get about 90% of my non-sports news from Comedy Central. I'm generally smart enough to separate the facts from the Stewart/Colbert hyperbole, but I'd be lying if I said those shows haven't influenced my opinions. Therefore, it will not bother me at all if you don't share my political viewpoint. Also, if any of my opinions are based on ignorance or a misunderstanding of the truth, please correct me in the comments. I'm just going to start typing; I don't really know yet what I'll end up saying or how long it will be. I do know, however, that I won't be discussing Prop 8 on my blog. I have conflicted feelings about the issue as a whole, the church's involvement in it, and the post-election protests, and don't wish to get into them here. I will, however, recommend the talk given by Elder Hales at the most recent General Conference to any LDS members wondering how they should respond to those who are angry with them because of their beliefs. Anyway, here we go.]
Voting in Harlem was an unusual experience. My polling station was at a church less than a block from my apartment, and I headed there at about 9:00, figuring that those who went to cast their votes before work would be gone, and I wouldn't have to wait in line long.
I was wrong. The line stretched outside the door for about a block, and once I got inside the building things were pretty chaotic. It seemed that everyone in the neighborhood was so excited to vote (for Obama) this year, that they wanted to do it as soon as they could (I talked to many people who voted at night and were in and out in less than five minutes). The volunteers were not prepared for the turnout, and the line stalled. I ended up waiting for over two hours before I finally pulled back the curtain and entered the voting booth.
As I looked over the names on the ancient device (we had those old-school voting machines with the big levers and such, like a giant vintage cash register), I realized why I had struggled to find information on any of the local races: virtually every judge, councilman, and sanitation commissioner was running unopposed, or if there were four names it was in a category that said "choose four." (In that particular race, two of the names were listed as both Republicans and Democrats. Not sure how that works.) I quickly made my selections and pulled the lever. Although my polling place disappointingly had no "I Voted" stickers, I had in fact voted, which is yet another way in which I'm better than Tim Robbins.
That night, I gathered with some friends for a bachelor party of sorts (yes, Mormon bachelor parties are exactly as dull as you'd expect, although there's nothing wrong with hanging out with the guys and eating pizza), and we watched the election results. Once the networks started calling the election for Obama, the neighborhood erupted. People began honking horns, screaming, banging pots and pans...it was like New Year's Day. The big party in the area was at the government building just three blocks from where I was. Most of our group went to join in the revelry, even though nearly all of them voted for McCain.
Even though I voted for Obama, I decided not to join the party, but still passed many exuberant people on my short trip home. I logged onto Facebook and was stunned by the status updates of my friends. Words and phrases like "socialist," "take my money," "Americans are morons," "this is a sad day," and "building a bomb shelter" abounded. I was stunned.
A month has now passed, and unsurprisingly, the extreme feelings of both joy and alarm expressed on Election Night seem to have been tempered. Time has a way of doing that. But I felt even back on November 4 that both types of overly emotional responses were unwarranted.
I have a feeling that many of those who are excited about the change Obama has promised to bring may be disappointed when they see what actually happens. Whether it's because of opposition from political opponents, their desire to achieve high approval ratings or get reelected, or even just that they realize that they are a representative for the entire nation and not just the people that voted for them, it seems to me that presidents always wind up being more centrist than they claimed to be during their campaigns. Compromises will inevitably have to be made, and it seems impossible that Obama will be able to achieve all of the goals he set forth prior to the election (we are now officially into the area where you can feel free to point out my ignorance or naivete).
If I'm right, and "business as usual" prevails in a general sense under President Obama, I don't view that as a bad thing. Life is generally good for most Americans, and although some things are less than desirable right now, that's the way things go. It's cyclical. The economy isn't great right now, but it will get better. And it would eventually improve whether Obama, Bush or McCain was president, although different policies espoused by different people will influence the speed and the degree of improvement.
If those who view Obama as a deity of sorts are setting themselves up for disappointment, I still feel that those who view his election as the end of the world are even more off base. In the weeks leading up to the election and in the first few days afterwards, the things I heard or read some people say made it seem like Obama was pledging to surrender the country to Russia if he won. Even if they don't agree with him, it seems ludicrous that anyone would believe he doesn't like America or want to make positive differences for Americans.
I heard a lot of people say, "we don't know anything about him." Um, seriously? I wasn't paying very close attention, and even I know that he plays basketball, he has two kids, he went to Columbia, he smokes, he used to go by "Barry," and a bunch of other facts about him, not tot mention everything I know about his political stances. I guess people can choose not to believe these things, but if that's the case I don't know how they expect to find out what Obama is like.
A lot of people labelled Obama as a socialist, always in a negative way. It's ironic to me that so many Mormons view socialism as such an evil thing, even though the people of Enoch and the people in 4 Nephi lived a form of socialism and were the two most successful, righteous, and happy societies in scriptural history. Plus, other than the threat of higher taxes, what about Obama's policies and promises makes him a socialist, or at least more of a socialist than other mainstream candidates (again, I'm not as informed a voter as many, so please enlighten me if there's major socialist stuff I'm unaware of)?
Our country and government has been socialistic in at least some aspects for a long time, and thank goodness for that. I don't know what I would be doing right now or where I would be living if I hadn't received Medicaid assistance after my gall bladder surgery. I'll admit that I felt slightly ashamed at not being able to pay my own bills, but I was incapable of doing so, and I'm very grateful for the assistance I've received. If Obama's plans will result in more people getting the health care they need, then I support them, and if that makes me a socialist, so be it.
I believe in the principles of capitalism (entrepreneurship, working for a living, pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, etc.), but I believe in the principle of charity even more. Before I came to New York, I don't think I had a very good conception of what life was like for people (especially kids) in low-income areas. Most of the kids in Harlem come into the world at such a huge disadvantage that they would have virtually no chance of succeeding in a strictly capitalistic society. Some "redistribution of wealth" is necessary to give these kids a fair chance. I'm willing to pay higher taxes if that's what it takes to help these people. This, more than anything else, is why I voted for Obama: because he and his party seem to me to be more sincere about and committed to helping those who are less fortunate than themselves.
The other big reason why I voted for a Democrat for the first time relates to my overall view of the position of President. To me, the president's most important job involves public relations. The president is the government's ultimate ambassador, it's public face. When things are going good, he should tell us that. When things are bad, tell us, and then explain what will be done to correct the problem. If something is bad because government screwed up, accept responsibility, apologize, and fix it. I feel most people don't expect perfection from their elected leaders, but they expect honesty. It perhaps was unfair to McCain, but I felt since about the beginning of the primaries that I could not in good conscience vote for the Republican candidate, no matter who it was, because of what I viewed as a high level of dishonesty and disrespect shown to the public by the president, his cabinet and their appointed spokespersons over the last few years. The Bush administration's approach to PR has been atrocious.
I would love to have a Hollywood president like David Palmer from 24 or Dave from Dave, someone who exudes strength and confidence, someone who seems intelligent and optimistic when they speak. As I said above, even when some things are bad, in America things are generally good. I want a president who speaks and acts in a way that helps people to feel good, to have a general feeling of happiness and contentment. Obama, while clearly no Dennis Haysbert, seems to fit that bill pretty well.
Basically, I knew that my day-to-day life wouldn't change much regardless of which candidate won, but I voted for Obama because I feel his policies and beliefs are at their core more compassionate than McCain's, and because I feel that when Obama speaks to me and to the rest of the country he tells the truth and will continue to do so. Simplistic as they may be, that's how it is. And now I can go back to my usual mode, where I don't worry much about any of these things, at least for a few more years.
Voting in Harlem was an unusual experience. My polling station was at a church less than a block from my apartment, and I headed there at about 9:00, figuring that those who went to cast their votes before work would be gone, and I wouldn't have to wait in line long.
I was wrong. The line stretched outside the door for about a block, and once I got inside the building things were pretty chaotic. It seemed that everyone in the neighborhood was so excited to vote (for Obama) this year, that they wanted to do it as soon as they could (I talked to many people who voted at night and were in and out in less than five minutes). The volunteers were not prepared for the turnout, and the line stalled. I ended up waiting for over two hours before I finally pulled back the curtain and entered the voting booth.
As I looked over the names on the ancient device (we had those old-school voting machines with the big levers and such, like a giant vintage cash register), I realized why I had struggled to find information on any of the local races: virtually every judge, councilman, and sanitation commissioner was running unopposed, or if there were four names it was in a category that said "choose four." (In that particular race, two of the names were listed as both Republicans and Democrats. Not sure how that works.) I quickly made my selections and pulled the lever. Although my polling place disappointingly had no "I Voted" stickers, I had in fact voted, which is yet another way in which I'm better than Tim Robbins.
That night, I gathered with some friends for a bachelor party of sorts (yes, Mormon bachelor parties are exactly as dull as you'd expect, although there's nothing wrong with hanging out with the guys and eating pizza), and we watched the election results. Once the networks started calling the election for Obama, the neighborhood erupted. People began honking horns, screaming, banging pots and pans...it was like New Year's Day. The big party in the area was at the government building just three blocks from where I was. Most of our group went to join in the revelry, even though nearly all of them voted for McCain.
Even though I voted for Obama, I decided not to join the party, but still passed many exuberant people on my short trip home. I logged onto Facebook and was stunned by the status updates of my friends. Words and phrases like "socialist," "take my money," "Americans are morons," "this is a sad day," and "building a bomb shelter" abounded. I was stunned.
A month has now passed, and unsurprisingly, the extreme feelings of both joy and alarm expressed on Election Night seem to have been tempered. Time has a way of doing that. But I felt even back on November 4 that both types of overly emotional responses were unwarranted.
I have a feeling that many of those who are excited about the change Obama has promised to bring may be disappointed when they see what actually happens. Whether it's because of opposition from political opponents, their desire to achieve high approval ratings or get reelected, or even just that they realize that they are a representative for the entire nation and not just the people that voted for them, it seems to me that presidents always wind up being more centrist than they claimed to be during their campaigns. Compromises will inevitably have to be made, and it seems impossible that Obama will be able to achieve all of the goals he set forth prior to the election (we are now officially into the area where you can feel free to point out my ignorance or naivete).
If I'm right, and "business as usual" prevails in a general sense under President Obama, I don't view that as a bad thing. Life is generally good for most Americans, and although some things are less than desirable right now, that's the way things go. It's cyclical. The economy isn't great right now, but it will get better. And it would eventually improve whether Obama, Bush or McCain was president, although different policies espoused by different people will influence the speed and the degree of improvement.
If those who view Obama as a deity of sorts are setting themselves up for disappointment, I still feel that those who view his election as the end of the world are even more off base. In the weeks leading up to the election and in the first few days afterwards, the things I heard or read some people say made it seem like Obama was pledging to surrender the country to Russia if he won. Even if they don't agree with him, it seems ludicrous that anyone would believe he doesn't like America or want to make positive differences for Americans.
I heard a lot of people say, "we don't know anything about him." Um, seriously? I wasn't paying very close attention, and even I know that he plays basketball, he has two kids, he went to Columbia, he smokes, he used to go by "Barry," and a bunch of other facts about him, not tot mention everything I know about his political stances. I guess people can choose not to believe these things, but if that's the case I don't know how they expect to find out what Obama is like.
A lot of people labelled Obama as a socialist, always in a negative way. It's ironic to me that so many Mormons view socialism as such an evil thing, even though the people of Enoch and the people in 4 Nephi lived a form of socialism and were the two most successful, righteous, and happy societies in scriptural history. Plus, other than the threat of higher taxes, what about Obama's policies and promises makes him a socialist, or at least more of a socialist than other mainstream candidates (again, I'm not as informed a voter as many, so please enlighten me if there's major socialist stuff I'm unaware of)?
Our country and government has been socialistic in at least some aspects for a long time, and thank goodness for that. I don't know what I would be doing right now or where I would be living if I hadn't received Medicaid assistance after my gall bladder surgery. I'll admit that I felt slightly ashamed at not being able to pay my own bills, but I was incapable of doing so, and I'm very grateful for the assistance I've received. If Obama's plans will result in more people getting the health care they need, then I support them, and if that makes me a socialist, so be it.
I believe in the principles of capitalism (entrepreneurship, working for a living, pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, etc.), but I believe in the principle of charity even more. Before I came to New York, I don't think I had a very good conception of what life was like for people (especially kids) in low-income areas. Most of the kids in Harlem come into the world at such a huge disadvantage that they would have virtually no chance of succeeding in a strictly capitalistic society. Some "redistribution of wealth" is necessary to give these kids a fair chance. I'm willing to pay higher taxes if that's what it takes to help these people. This, more than anything else, is why I voted for Obama: because he and his party seem to me to be more sincere about and committed to helping those who are less fortunate than themselves.
The other big reason why I voted for a Democrat for the first time relates to my overall view of the position of President. To me, the president's most important job involves public relations. The president is the government's ultimate ambassador, it's public face. When things are going good, he should tell us that. When things are bad, tell us, and then explain what will be done to correct the problem. If something is bad because government screwed up, accept responsibility, apologize, and fix it. I feel most people don't expect perfection from their elected leaders, but they expect honesty. It perhaps was unfair to McCain, but I felt since about the beginning of the primaries that I could not in good conscience vote for the Republican candidate, no matter who it was, because of what I viewed as a high level of dishonesty and disrespect shown to the public by the president, his cabinet and their appointed spokespersons over the last few years. The Bush administration's approach to PR has been atrocious.
I would love to have a Hollywood president like David Palmer from 24 or Dave from Dave, someone who exudes strength and confidence, someone who seems intelligent and optimistic when they speak. As I said above, even when some things are bad, in America things are generally good. I want a president who speaks and acts in a way that helps people to feel good, to have a general feeling of happiness and contentment. Obama, while clearly no Dennis Haysbert, seems to fit that bill pretty well.
Basically, I knew that my day-to-day life wouldn't change much regardless of which candidate won, but I voted for Obama because I feel his policies and beliefs are at their core more compassionate than McCain's, and because I feel that when Obama speaks to me and to the rest of the country he tells the truth and will continue to do so. Simplistic as they may be, that's how it is. And now I can go back to my usual mode, where I don't worry much about any of these things, at least for a few more years.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Feeling Chemish-ish
Hey, remember when I used to blog?
I remember, and I miss it. For some reason, I haven't been feeling like writing lately. The Book of Mormon covers over 1000 years of history (more than double that total when you include the Jaredites), but about 400 of those years are covered in less than ten pages, with a series of historians (starting with Enos and culminating with Chemish, the one-verse wonder), having very little to say.
At one point Jarom even writes, "it must needs be that I write a little; but...what could I write more than my fathers have written?...and this sufficeth me" (Jarom 2). As every book from Mosiah through Moroni proves, there was clearly much more to write.
So why did they lose motivation for their version of blogging? I think one of the reasons is given by Omni: "I of myself am a wicked man, and I have not kept...the commandments of the Lord as I ought to have done" (Omni 2).
I can relate. When I haven't been doing what I ought to do, I don't feel like keeping a record of what I have been doing. There's been some of this going on for me lately, for sure. Just like Joseph Smith, "in making this confession, no one need suppose me guilty of any great or malignant sins" (JS-H 28); it's more of a reflection of the feelings of uselessness I often experience as I continue to endure a long stretch of unemployment. I feel like I ought to be working, like I ought to be spending my days more productively, and when I don't (which is sometimes not my fault but usually it is), I lose my desire to blog.
If you've noticed an obvious solution to this situation, don't worry, I have too. I'm optimistic that not only will I have a job soon, but that there will be many new and entertaining blog posts in the coming days and weeks. Specifically, look for something big coming very soon as I prepare to "write the hundredth part" (W of M 5) of my blog.
I remember, and I miss it. For some reason, I haven't been feeling like writing lately. The Book of Mormon covers over 1000 years of history (more than double that total when you include the Jaredites), but about 400 of those years are covered in less than ten pages, with a series of historians (starting with Enos and culminating with Chemish, the one-verse wonder), having very little to say.
At one point Jarom even writes, "it must needs be that I write a little; but...what could I write more than my fathers have written?...and this sufficeth me" (Jarom 2). As every book from Mosiah through Moroni proves, there was clearly much more to write.
So why did they lose motivation for their version of blogging? I think one of the reasons is given by Omni: "I of myself am a wicked man, and I have not kept...the commandments of the Lord as I ought to have done" (Omni 2).
I can relate. When I haven't been doing what I ought to do, I don't feel like keeping a record of what I have been doing. There's been some of this going on for me lately, for sure. Just like Joseph Smith, "in making this confession, no one need suppose me guilty of any great or malignant sins" (JS-H 28); it's more of a reflection of the feelings of uselessness I often experience as I continue to endure a long stretch of unemployment. I feel like I ought to be working, like I ought to be spending my days more productively, and when I don't (which is sometimes not my fault but usually it is), I lose my desire to blog.
If you've noticed an obvious solution to this situation, don't worry, I have too. I'm optimistic that not only will I have a job soon, but that there will be many new and entertaining blog posts in the coming days and weeks. Specifically, look for something big coming very soon as I prepare to "write the hundredth part" (W of M 5) of my blog.
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