Monday, November 17, 2008

Freeze, TV, or Kissing?

I was "tagged" by my friend Megan. I've ignored all previous taggings (I'm not sure how many times it's happened, but at least once), but I need something to get me back in the blogging groove. Plus she called me "Jeff H.," which reminded me of my elementary school days. So here we go.

Five things I was doing ten years ago (my Freshman year of college):
  1. Playing NBA Jam with my roommate Kyle. "Boom-shakka-lakka!"
  2. Writing songs with Mark Haraguchi to get the Stover girls to come over during visiting hours.
  3. Pounding down chicken kievs, Monte Cristo sandwiches, or whatever the Cannon Center was serving--three meals a day--topped off by some soft serve.
  4. Hosting five-hour Simpsons marathons (up to 12 people crammed into my tiny dorm room) almost every afternoon.
  5. Teaming up with almost every guy on the floor (along with Pete's Teal Stallion) to play a great prank on Josh Wheeler.

Five things on my list of things to do today:
  1. Watch last night's "Simpsons" episode (check!)
  2. Shave (check!)
  3. Shower (check!)
  4. Brush my teeth (should be done by about 6 PM)
  5. Realize I'm not much of a listmaker, or particularly ambitious (check!)
Five snacks I enjoy:
  1. Almond roca
  2. Chocolate chip cookies (made by my mom, Mrs. Fields, those Keebler elves, whoever)
  3. Anything my mom bakes, especially if chocolate is involved
  4. A big block of cheese
  5. Quaker Oat Squares, dry
Five things I'd do if I became a millionaire:
  1. Attend lots of comedy shows, concerts and sporting events
  2. Give bills to panhandlers instead of change
  3. Go back to school for something, maybe even just to learn languages
  4. Try, at least for a little while, to make a living as a comedian or a writer or both
  5. Splurge on priority shipping the next time I buy something from eBay or Amazon
Five places I've lived:
  1. Murray, UT
  2. Provo, UT
  3. Greenock, Scotland
  4. Inverness, Scotland
  5. Harlem
Five jobs I've had:
  1. Cashier/baker/sample tray holder at Mrs. Fields
  2. Cashier at ShopKo
  3. Production assistant for BYU Broadcasting (yes, I am the Jeff Hofmann in the credits of those scripture roundtable shows--impressed?)
  4. Writer/phone screener for the Marie and Friends radio show
  5. Data technician for Backstage Library Works

I guess this is the point where I'm supposed to tag other people, but the whole point of this blog is to draw attention to myself, so I'm not going to tag anyone else. I like being "it."

Monday, November 10, 2008

Just wanted to throw something up here

I have no idea why I'm thinking about this right now, or why I feel it's worth writing about, but the purpose of this post is to express my displeasure with the oft-used phrase (and its variants) "I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."

Apparently it's been annoying people for quite some time. But these people seem to despise the pretentiousness of the saying. But it bothers me for a different reason: why say it that way, when that is the only place you can throw up? Yes, sometimes the throw up escapes the mouth and sometimes it doesn't (is there a magma/lava equivalent for puke, or is it always the same?), but the mouth is always involved. If someone ever vomits out of, say, their armpit, then I want the description to include the body part. Otherwise, it's not necessary.

Again, not sure why I thought this was blog-worthy; maybe it was just an excuse to link to the late, great Mitch Hedberg joking about a similar linguistic conundrum (starting at about the 6:35 mark; if you listen to the whole clip, watch out for some bad language).