This weekend I, like many of you, will watch Hugh Jackman hand out a bunch of gold statues. But right now I'm a little bummed out that I can't find video of my favorite Oscar moment online. It was 2005, and host Chris Rock ridiculed Jude Law in his monologue, as described here, which led to Sean Penn revisiting the subject TWO HOURS later in the broadcast as described at the end of the article, which led to this SNL sketch, which led to a hilariously awkward moment in my apartment.
Anyway, I don't get to the theater much, so to make my Oscar picks I had to improvise and create some new categories. So, pretend you just heard a few jokes bomb as the presenters struggle to read the teleprompter, and away we go...the winners are...
Best Hispanic character on The Office: Oscar Nunez
Best Writer: Oscar Wilde
Best Musical Writer: Oscar Hammerstein
Best Athlete: Oscar Robertson
Best Oscar De La: Oscar De La Hoya (but De La Renta still rules the red carpet)
Best Sprinter With No Legs: Oscar Pistorius
Best Half of the Odd Couple: Oscar (maybe next year, Felix)
Best Fighting Fish: Oscars
Best Rapping Manager: Oscar
Best Almost-Oscar: One of these
Best Factory Owner: Oskar Schindler
Best Grouch: Oscar
Best Hot Dog: Oscar Mayer
Best Talking Dog: Oscar
Best Sly Stallone '90s Comedy: Oscar (although it was unintentionally hilarious, Judge Dredd was not technically a comedy)
I could go on (and on my blog I usually do), but I don't want to get played off by the orchestra. To wrap up, I guess I'll retain the biggest Academy Award category for my personal Oscars.
Best Picture: Oscar Gamble
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Mo' money, mo' problems
For a few of the job applications I've filled out recently, I've had to include my college GPA. One even asked for a year-by-year GPA, which meant I checked out my transcript for the first time in a while. I was remarkably consistent in college--I had a cumulative 3.89 GPA, yet never had a semester with a 4.0. It reminds me of the time I took Julie Camp to the Christmas Dance in high school. We went bowling before the dance, and Julie got a 79 without a single spare or strike. Now that's consistency.
My lowest GPA for a semester was 3.64, due mainly to the C+ I "achieved" in my Old Testament class--my worst grade ever at any level. The C+ was my fault, though at the time I blamed my professor. He made awful jokes, all the time, the same ones over and over again (like calling the fourth book of Moses "Leave it to cuss," or talking about how grateful he was for the Book of Ruth, because "it would be a shame to be Ruthless"). I've made my share of bad jokes before, but I'm usually aware that they're bad, and I haven't been a serial joke-repeater since my childhood "Why did the fishermen go fishing?" days.
Even worse, he gave a quiz every day, and then we graded our own quizzes in class. That means I'd have to suffer through "if I put [something vaguely related], can I get half credit?" types of questions every time. This process took at least 15 minutes in each class, and since we only had two 50-minute sessions a week to begin with to cover about 800 pages of OT curriculum, and since it was an 8 AM class, I gave in to my frustration and skipped almost half of the classes. Since I wasn't there to take the quizzes, my grade slipped down past the Bs.
For my first few years of college, I had a grade-based full tuition scholarship, which I got one year at a time, and then it would be renewed if my grades were good enough. My grades, as stated above, were good, but so were my classmates' (Communications is a pretty easy major, I'll readily admit that), and that fall my GPA was one-hundredth of a point below the cutoff for full tuition, and I got a half tuition scholarship instead.
So, my laziness or stubbornness or whatever you want to call it in relation to my Old Testament class cost me about $1600 (BYU is remarkably cheap compared to other schools, isn't it?). I ended up receiving a departmental scholarship that covered the rest of my tuition, but I probably would've got that anyway, and could've used that money for any number of other things. Pretty frustrating, and I only have myself to blame.
More recently, I've spent money that I didn't have to, and I really wish I had it back. About a fortnight ago, I finally gave up after my fifth try to get my money back from DHL brought me to the same dead end. Back in August when I moved back to New York, I shipped some boxes to myself. DHL sent them overnight instead of ground, a total difference of more than $500 for the four boxes. They haven't been pleasant to deal with, and even if I had the option I wouldn't give them my business again.
Back in September, I filled a prescription for Flomax, since after my surgery I was having bathroom problems and had to be catheterized. Turns out I'm just slow at recovering from anesthesia, and if we had waited just a little longer I probably would've been fine, and wouldn't have had to pay $110 for 30-40 pills, of which I took four. If you know someone who uses Flomax, I'd be happy to sell the rest of my stash at a discounted rate.
Finally, earlier this month, I left my apartment without my Metro card, probably the first time I've ever done that. So I bought a new card and put about $10 on it, which technically isn't a loss since I can still use it, but it was aggravating when I next tried using my regular card and saw that the month was up and it was time to buy a new unlimited monthly pass anyway.
At least I got my tax refund last week. I ended up paying less than $100 combined income tax for state and federal. Not bad. I've used this website to do my taxes the last few years. It's not for everyone--if you made a lot of money (like more than $60,000--that's a lot to me), or have W2's from more than one state, then you can't use it. But if you qualify, they'll file your federal for free, and your state for just $10 (or, obviously, you can file your state return for free on your own). It's a pretty good deal, and despite the evidence given above, I usually try to take good care of my money.
My lowest GPA for a semester was 3.64, due mainly to the C+ I "achieved" in my Old Testament class--my worst grade ever at any level. The C+ was my fault, though at the time I blamed my professor. He made awful jokes, all the time, the same ones over and over again (like calling the fourth book of Moses "Leave it to cuss," or talking about how grateful he was for the Book of Ruth, because "it would be a shame to be Ruthless"). I've made my share of bad jokes before, but I'm usually aware that they're bad, and I haven't been a serial joke-repeater since my childhood "Why did the fishermen go fishing?" days.
Even worse, he gave a quiz every day, and then we graded our own quizzes in class. That means I'd have to suffer through "if I put [something vaguely related], can I get half credit?" types of questions every time. This process took at least 15 minutes in each class, and since we only had two 50-minute sessions a week to begin with to cover about 800 pages of OT curriculum, and since it was an 8 AM class, I gave in to my frustration and skipped almost half of the classes. Since I wasn't there to take the quizzes, my grade slipped down past the Bs.
For my first few years of college, I had a grade-based full tuition scholarship, which I got one year at a time, and then it would be renewed if my grades were good enough. My grades, as stated above, were good, but so were my classmates' (Communications is a pretty easy major, I'll readily admit that), and that fall my GPA was one-hundredth of a point below the cutoff for full tuition, and I got a half tuition scholarship instead.
So, my laziness or stubbornness or whatever you want to call it in relation to my Old Testament class cost me about $1600 (BYU is remarkably cheap compared to other schools, isn't it?). I ended up receiving a departmental scholarship that covered the rest of my tuition, but I probably would've got that anyway, and could've used that money for any number of other things. Pretty frustrating, and I only have myself to blame.
More recently, I've spent money that I didn't have to, and I really wish I had it back. About a fortnight ago, I finally gave up after my fifth try to get my money back from DHL brought me to the same dead end. Back in August when I moved back to New York, I shipped some boxes to myself. DHL sent them overnight instead of ground, a total difference of more than $500 for the four boxes. They haven't been pleasant to deal with, and even if I had the option I wouldn't give them my business again.
Back in September, I filled a prescription for Flomax, since after my surgery I was having bathroom problems and had to be catheterized. Turns out I'm just slow at recovering from anesthesia, and if we had waited just a little longer I probably would've been fine, and wouldn't have had to pay $110 for 30-40 pills, of which I took four. If you know someone who uses Flomax, I'd be happy to sell the rest of my stash at a discounted rate.
Finally, earlier this month, I left my apartment without my Metro card, probably the first time I've ever done that. So I bought a new card and put about $10 on it, which technically isn't a loss since I can still use it, but it was aggravating when I next tried using my regular card and saw that the month was up and it was time to buy a new unlimited monthly pass anyway.
At least I got my tax refund last week. I ended up paying less than $100 combined income tax for state and federal. Not bad. I've used this website to do my taxes the last few years. It's not for everyone--if you made a lot of money (like more than $60,000--that's a lot to me), or have W2's from more than one state, then you can't use it. But if you qualify, they'll file your federal for free, and your state for just $10 (or, obviously, you can file your state return for free on your own). It's a pretty good deal, and despite the evidence given above, I usually try to take good care of my money.
Monday, February 16, 2009
If you win, take me with you
Click this link and fill out the form for a chance to win a trip for four to Scotland. It's seriously the fastest online contest entry you'll ever see. All you have to do is enter your name, e-mail address, and zip code, and choose three of five "experiences" for your potential trip (and since one of them is "the whisky experience," most if not all of my readers will only have to choose three out of four). And that's it.
Except one more thing: if you enter but don't plan on bringing me with you, you're actually decreasing my chances of winning. So only enter if you're reserving a spot for me (if I win, I'll choose you, I promise). Take my word for it, there isn't a better place you and three friends could take a free vacation this summer.
By the way, people really do win these things. My sister-in-law has turned contest entry into a part-time job of sorts. Once I mysteriously received a Lord of the Rings DVD in the mail, only to learn a few weeks later that after winning one for herself, Kimberly had reentered the contest several times using family members' names. Not long after that, she won a week-long trip to the Cayman Islands for her family from Nickelodeon. So, seriously, take 30 seconds and win me a Scottish holiday already.
Except one more thing: if you enter but don't plan on bringing me with you, you're actually decreasing my chances of winning. So only enter if you're reserving a spot for me (if I win, I'll choose you, I promise). Take my word for it, there isn't a better place you and three friends could take a free vacation this summer.
By the way, people really do win these things. My sister-in-law has turned contest entry into a part-time job of sorts. Once I mysteriously received a Lord of the Rings DVD in the mail, only to learn a few weeks later that after winning one for herself, Kimberly had reentered the contest several times using family members' names. Not long after that, she won a week-long trip to the Cayman Islands for her family from Nickelodeon. So, seriously, take 30 seconds and win me a Scottish holiday already.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
It's still real to me, darn it!
As great as the Super Bowl was, and as much as I enjoy Groundhog Day and its eponymous movie, the most important day of this week to me is today. For February 3 marks 20 years since the first time I watched a WWF match.
That's right, I'm a big fan of pro wrestling (though not as passionate about it as the guy who inspired this post's title), and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Before that fateful day in 1989, I was already a fan of the cartoon show Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling, which might be why my dad suggested I try the real thing. (My dad used to like wrestling and other, more traditional sports, but now can't stand them. I'm not sure why.)
That night, NBC was broadcasting one of their occasional prime time wrestling specials, The Main Event. And what a main event! The World Wrestling Federation's equivalent of a rock supergroup, the Mega Powers, were taking on the dastardly Twin Towers, Akeem and the Big Boss Man (trust me, they were quite evil and intimidating at the time). This was, of course, the match where the Mega Powers broke up, as WWF champ "Macho Man" Randy Savage could no longer contain his jealousy of partner Hulk Hogan. The two of them began an epic feud, and hooked a new fan in the process.
In honor of today's platinum anniversary, here is a (perhaps not-so-) brief timeline of some significant events of my time as a fan.
1989
In October, my brother bought me a half-birthday present: the current issue of WWF Magazine, with Ultimate Warrior on the cover. I soon began collecting them (much more on this below).
The next month, I pretended to be sick so I could skip attending The Little Mermaid (I had won tickets in a coloring contest). The reason: there was to be a test of strength between Ultimate Warrior and Dino Bravo, an unusually significant event for Superstars of Wrestling, the weekly syndicated show I watched. (I'm amazed I found the video. I love YouTube.)
1990
For Christmas, Santa brought me an Ultimate Warrior Wrestling Buddy, which I grappled with by day and cuddled with by night. Despite my frequent Warrior mentions, my favorite wrestler at this time was Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake.
1991
Can't recall anything really important from this year. I guess I'll say that this was the year where I came to terms with the fact that wrestling is fake (I used to get really mad when my older brother would tell me that). Well, staged is a better word. It's still a pretty dangerous occupation, and often very damaging to the wrestlers' long-term health (more on that later).
1992
A year of firsts: in February my dad took me to my first live WWF event, where I saw Rowdy Roddy Piper defeat Ric Flair (but by count-out, allowing Flair to retain his title). A few months later, I started my first WWF Magazine subscription (I had been buying them individually from 7-11 prior to this).
Late in the year, Superstars went off the air. I wouldn't see a current wrestling show again until 1996. I had to keep myself occupied with the few tapes I could find, my action figures (supplemented by my He-Man collection), and of course my magazines.
1993
As my magazine collection grew, and as I had few other options to get my wrestling fix, I began (I can't believe I'm admitting this) counting pictures of people in each issue and tracking them in a database. This process raised some tough questions: does a picture of Hulk Hogan on a t-shirt or ice cream bar count as a picture of Hulk Hogan? (Yes.) Do pictures of non-wrestling figures in advertisements count, requiring me to at least attempt to figure out the names of the members of Motorhead or the cast of the Mortal Kombat movie, in the days before Google? (Yes.) Does this qualify me for the Nerd Hall of Fame? (Absolutely.)
1994
I had won tickets to a WCW (the WWF's rival company) event, but was afraid to invite anyone for fear of being mocked for being a wrestling fan. Randomly, in my geometry class I heard Jerrett Andrew say something that indicated he liked wrestling. The two of us were already friends due to our common interests in baseball and Batman movies, but starting with that event wrestling helped us become best friends.
With Brutus Beefcake now out of the WWF, I finally settled on a new favorite wrestler: Razor Ramon.
1995
WCW begins airing Nitro opposite WWF's Raw on monday nights, kicking off the "Monday Night Wars" and bringing pro wrestling to unprecedented heights of popularity. It was no longer necessary to hide my fandom. The types of matches usually saved for pay-per-views after months of build-up now happened on a weekly basis as the two shows competed for viewers. It was great at the time, but damaging to the industry in the long term (in my opinion).
1996
Jerrett and I attended a live event sans parents for the first time--also the first time we ponied up the dough for floor seats. We also began incorporating various wrestling poses into our moves at various high school dances and stomps.
I believe this was also the year Jakks began releasing WWF action figures, a huge upgrade over the Hasbro ones I bought years earlier. Yes, I played with toys throughout my high school years.
1997
This was a big year. I've already chronicled one of my favorite personal anecdotes, detailing how Jerrett and I got our hands on Triple H's gum. Definitely worth reading, or rereading, as the case may be. Jerrett also lived the dream and bought the WrestleFest arcade game from the Tilt in Fashion Place Mall. That's right, I knew a guy with an arcade game in his bedroom. It was pretty sweet.
That fall, I was granted my own column in the high school paper. My first topic, of course, was about my love for pro wrestling (I wrote it in part because it's one of my passions, but also to rebut a previous anti-wrestling editorial written by my colleague Jared Robbins, who is the closest I've ever had to a rival, probably. I ought to write more about him sometime).
1998
In one of my first college adventures, Andy Christensen and I drove down to see a show at Snow College with our friend Susie, still the only time I've attended an "indie" wrestling event and the only time I've touched a real wrestling ring (I didn't get inside though). Susie and I are still annoyed that the promoted midget match never took place.
Some embarrassing moments for the wrestling biz, as the likes of Karl Malone, Dennis Rodman, and even Jay Leno not only feature prominently in storylines but even take part in matches! This trend reaches a humiliating apex the next year when David Arquette becomes the WCW champion. I'm completely serious. Next month Mickey Rourke will take on Chris Jericho at WresteMania, and while he certainly looks and acts the part better than Arquette, I imagine it will still be pretty obvious that he shouldn't be in the match.
1999
Tragedy strikes as Owen Hart, one of my favorites (it would have been devastating even if I hated him, though), falls to his death as a stunt goes awry during a pay-per-view event. Many fans believe it is part of the show, at least in part because WWF owner Vince McMahon decides to carry on rather than cancel after the accident.
2000
Although I am on my mission in Scotland, my WWF Magazine subscription continues (I planned ahead).
2001
A bittersweet (as far as wrestling goes) return to the USA: I missed the entire XFL experience, but I have two years' worth of magazines to catch up on. By the time I went back to college six weeks later, I had read them cover to cover and catalogued all of the pictures.
2002
After losing a legal battle with the World Wildlife Fund, WWF becomes WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment). I still don't like calling it that.
2003
My singles ward has a date auction, where you bid on dates without knowing who the date will be with. Most have very elaborate descriptions, involve multiple couples, and raise a lot of money for the sub-for-Santa program. The one I entered was simply "dinner and WrestleMania." I figured the winning bidder would be either a wrestling fan, a girl who knew I was a fan and wanted to date me, or preferably both. Instead, I got a pity bid of $10 from Chrissy Briggs, the lowest total of the night. But she did come over and eat pizza with me while we watched some of my favorite matches from my WrestleMania 1-13 boxed set.
2004
This was the year I first became aware of upstart wrestling promotion TNA. They can probably never become a true rival to WWE (which bought WCW in 2001) as long as they continue to use their goofy 6-sided ring.
2005
About a year after WWE Magazine is replaced by Raw and Smackdown Magazines (one for each of the company's main brands and TV shows), I decide not to renew my subscription. I still have all of the old issues, and the spreadsheets with the picture counts are on a floppy disk somewhere. I'm pretty sure Undertaker finished as #1, although he may have been passed by Stone Cold Steve Austin, I can't remember. The Hulkster definitely had the highest per-issue average.
2006
Nothing stands out.
2007
In the wake of the Chris Benoit murder-suicide, I question why I follow wrestling, and wonder if I should continue to do so. Literally dozens of wrestlers have died in their 40s or 50s (or even younger) as a result of accidents, drug overdoses, suicides, and other drug-related reasons such as heart failure. Wrestlers lead a harsh lifestyle; there's no offseason, and the WWE puts on about 250 shows per year. Many performers have to take painkillers or worse to be able to keep up with the grueling schedule. It would be great to see some major changes made to the way WWE operates. They've banned certain moves that are more dangerous, which is a good start, and they have a stricter drug policy than they used to, but it seems like it's mainly designed to keep Congress off their backs. I still watch wrestling, but often it's more out of habit than enjoyment.
2008
Living in apartments without cable, I come across websites that stream wrestling and other live sporting events. On each of these sites, next to the video is a chat window where people type some of the most ridiculous stuff I've ever seen, a combination of racism, sexism, homophobia, foul language, poor grammar and other nonsense. When they actually write about wrestling, they love to give spoilers if it's a broadcast of a taped show, or to talk about how wrestling sucks and they miss "the good old days" I've been describing, even though most of them are teenagers and can't possibly remember anything from before 1999. I try to ignore it, but my eyes get drawn to it, and then I'm too stunned by their stupidity to turn away.
2009
I'm hopeful this will be the year I attend a live event at Madison Square Garden, the mecca of professional wrestling.
So there you go. Happy anniversary to me. As with The Simpsons, my other 20-year pop culture passion, most of the good times happened in the early and middle years of the relationship, but every so often wrestling does something that makes me remember why I fell in love with it in the first place. It will always be my soap opera of choice.
That's right, I'm a big fan of pro wrestling (though not as passionate about it as the guy who inspired this post's title), and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Before that fateful day in 1989, I was already a fan of the cartoon show Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling, which might be why my dad suggested I try the real thing. (My dad used to like wrestling and other, more traditional sports, but now can't stand them. I'm not sure why.)
That night, NBC was broadcasting one of their occasional prime time wrestling specials, The Main Event. And what a main event! The World Wrestling Federation's equivalent of a rock supergroup, the Mega Powers, were taking on the dastardly Twin Towers, Akeem and the Big Boss Man (trust me, they were quite evil and intimidating at the time). This was, of course, the match where the Mega Powers broke up, as WWF champ "Macho Man" Randy Savage could no longer contain his jealousy of partner Hulk Hogan. The two of them began an epic feud, and hooked a new fan in the process.
In honor of today's platinum anniversary, here is a (perhaps not-so-) brief timeline of some significant events of my time as a fan.
1989
In October, my brother bought me a half-birthday present: the current issue of WWF Magazine, with Ultimate Warrior on the cover. I soon began collecting them (much more on this below).
The next month, I pretended to be sick so I could skip attending The Little Mermaid (I had won tickets in a coloring contest). The reason: there was to be a test of strength between Ultimate Warrior and Dino Bravo, an unusually significant event for Superstars of Wrestling, the weekly syndicated show I watched. (I'm amazed I found the video. I love YouTube.)
1990
For Christmas, Santa brought me an Ultimate Warrior Wrestling Buddy, which I grappled with by day and cuddled with by night. Despite my frequent Warrior mentions, my favorite wrestler at this time was Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake.
1991
Can't recall anything really important from this year. I guess I'll say that this was the year where I came to terms with the fact that wrestling is fake (I used to get really mad when my older brother would tell me that). Well, staged is a better word. It's still a pretty dangerous occupation, and often very damaging to the wrestlers' long-term health (more on that later).
1992
A year of firsts: in February my dad took me to my first live WWF event, where I saw Rowdy Roddy Piper defeat Ric Flair (but by count-out, allowing Flair to retain his title). A few months later, I started my first WWF Magazine subscription (I had been buying them individually from 7-11 prior to this).
Late in the year, Superstars went off the air. I wouldn't see a current wrestling show again until 1996. I had to keep myself occupied with the few tapes I could find, my action figures (supplemented by my He-Man collection), and of course my magazines.
1993
As my magazine collection grew, and as I had few other options to get my wrestling fix, I began (I can't believe I'm admitting this) counting pictures of people in each issue and tracking them in a database. This process raised some tough questions: does a picture of Hulk Hogan on a t-shirt or ice cream bar count as a picture of Hulk Hogan? (Yes.) Do pictures of non-wrestling figures in advertisements count, requiring me to at least attempt to figure out the names of the members of Motorhead or the cast of the Mortal Kombat movie, in the days before Google? (Yes.) Does this qualify me for the Nerd Hall of Fame? (Absolutely.)
1994
I had won tickets to a WCW (the WWF's rival company) event, but was afraid to invite anyone for fear of being mocked for being a wrestling fan. Randomly, in my geometry class I heard Jerrett Andrew say something that indicated he liked wrestling. The two of us were already friends due to our common interests in baseball and Batman movies, but starting with that event wrestling helped us become best friends.
With Brutus Beefcake now out of the WWF, I finally settled on a new favorite wrestler: Razor Ramon.
1995
WCW begins airing Nitro opposite WWF's Raw on monday nights, kicking off the "Monday Night Wars" and bringing pro wrestling to unprecedented heights of popularity. It was no longer necessary to hide my fandom. The types of matches usually saved for pay-per-views after months of build-up now happened on a weekly basis as the two shows competed for viewers. It was great at the time, but damaging to the industry in the long term (in my opinion).
1996
Jerrett and I attended a live event sans parents for the first time--also the first time we ponied up the dough for floor seats. We also began incorporating various wrestling poses into our moves at various high school dances and stomps.
I believe this was also the year Jakks began releasing WWF action figures, a huge upgrade over the Hasbro ones I bought years earlier. Yes, I played with toys throughout my high school years.
1997
This was a big year. I've already chronicled one of my favorite personal anecdotes, detailing how Jerrett and I got our hands on Triple H's gum. Definitely worth reading, or rereading, as the case may be. Jerrett also lived the dream and bought the WrestleFest arcade game from the Tilt in Fashion Place Mall. That's right, I knew a guy with an arcade game in his bedroom. It was pretty sweet.
That fall, I was granted my own column in the high school paper. My first topic, of course, was about my love for pro wrestling (I wrote it in part because it's one of my passions, but also to rebut a previous anti-wrestling editorial written by my colleague Jared Robbins, who is the closest I've ever had to a rival, probably. I ought to write more about him sometime).
1998
In one of my first college adventures, Andy Christensen and I drove down to see a show at Snow College with our friend Susie, still the only time I've attended an "indie" wrestling event and the only time I've touched a real wrestling ring (I didn't get inside though). Susie and I are still annoyed that the promoted midget match never took place.
Some embarrassing moments for the wrestling biz, as the likes of Karl Malone, Dennis Rodman, and even Jay Leno not only feature prominently in storylines but even take part in matches! This trend reaches a humiliating apex the next year when David Arquette becomes the WCW champion. I'm completely serious. Next month Mickey Rourke will take on Chris Jericho at WresteMania, and while he certainly looks and acts the part better than Arquette, I imagine it will still be pretty obvious that he shouldn't be in the match.
1999
Tragedy strikes as Owen Hart, one of my favorites (it would have been devastating even if I hated him, though), falls to his death as a stunt goes awry during a pay-per-view event. Many fans believe it is part of the show, at least in part because WWF owner Vince McMahon decides to carry on rather than cancel after the accident.
2000
Although I am on my mission in Scotland, my WWF Magazine subscription continues (I planned ahead).
2001
A bittersweet (as far as wrestling goes) return to the USA: I missed the entire XFL experience, but I have two years' worth of magazines to catch up on. By the time I went back to college six weeks later, I had read them cover to cover and catalogued all of the pictures.
2002
After losing a legal battle with the World Wildlife Fund, WWF becomes WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment). I still don't like calling it that.
2003
My singles ward has a date auction, where you bid on dates without knowing who the date will be with. Most have very elaborate descriptions, involve multiple couples, and raise a lot of money for the sub-for-Santa program. The one I entered was simply "dinner and WrestleMania." I figured the winning bidder would be either a wrestling fan, a girl who knew I was a fan and wanted to date me, or preferably both. Instead, I got a pity bid of $10 from Chrissy Briggs, the lowest total of the night. But she did come over and eat pizza with me while we watched some of my favorite matches from my WrestleMania 1-13 boxed set.
2004
This was the year I first became aware of upstart wrestling promotion TNA. They can probably never become a true rival to WWE (which bought WCW in 2001) as long as they continue to use their goofy 6-sided ring.
2005
About a year after WWE Magazine is replaced by Raw and Smackdown Magazines (one for each of the company's main brands and TV shows), I decide not to renew my subscription. I still have all of the old issues, and the spreadsheets with the picture counts are on a floppy disk somewhere. I'm pretty sure Undertaker finished as #1, although he may have been passed by Stone Cold Steve Austin, I can't remember. The Hulkster definitely had the highest per-issue average.
2006
Nothing stands out.
2007
In the wake of the Chris Benoit murder-suicide, I question why I follow wrestling, and wonder if I should continue to do so. Literally dozens of wrestlers have died in their 40s or 50s (or even younger) as a result of accidents, drug overdoses, suicides, and other drug-related reasons such as heart failure. Wrestlers lead a harsh lifestyle; there's no offseason, and the WWE puts on about 250 shows per year. Many performers have to take painkillers or worse to be able to keep up with the grueling schedule. It would be great to see some major changes made to the way WWE operates. They've banned certain moves that are more dangerous, which is a good start, and they have a stricter drug policy than they used to, but it seems like it's mainly designed to keep Congress off their backs. I still watch wrestling, but often it's more out of habit than enjoyment.
2008
Living in apartments without cable, I come across websites that stream wrestling and other live sporting events. On each of these sites, next to the video is a chat window where people type some of the most ridiculous stuff I've ever seen, a combination of racism, sexism, homophobia, foul language, poor grammar and other nonsense. When they actually write about wrestling, they love to give spoilers if it's a broadcast of a taped show, or to talk about how wrestling sucks and they miss "the good old days" I've been describing, even though most of them are teenagers and can't possibly remember anything from before 1999. I try to ignore it, but my eyes get drawn to it, and then I'm too stunned by their stupidity to turn away.
2009
I'm hopeful this will be the year I attend a live event at Madison Square Garden, the mecca of professional wrestling.
So there you go. Happy anniversary to me. As with The Simpsons, my other 20-year pop culture passion, most of the good times happened in the early and middle years of the relationship, but every so often wrestling does something that makes me remember why I fell in love with it in the first place. It will always be my soap opera of choice.
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