Sisters are doin' it for themselves

Are all y'all on the edge of your seats, waiting to see what happened next? I know I am! Here is the penultimate installment of Joni's story! (Yes, that means there will be one more tomorrow; and yes, I could've cleaned up the writing a little, but I couldn't be bothered, and I think it still flows pretty well, and hopefully it will serve as a reminder that this is how most people talk. And um, I think that's like, ok.)

"So we walked for a while, and then she looked at me and was like, “what did the doctor tell you?” And I was like “I don’t know, we need to talk” and she was like, and then I told her “he said you were pregnant.” Then she was like, “Oh, I knew he would do that because when I was in the room with him I told him that you were American and he said he was going to go play a trick on you and tell you I was having a baby.”

"And I was like oh, man, I can’t believe the doctor would do that, that’s so mean, everything, that’s just like, wow, that would be a malpractice suit in the United States, she’s like “I know,” and so we went to lunch. And so I’m totally thinking she’s not pregnant, it’s just the doctor’s tricking me.

"So we went to lunch and my companion didn’t eat anything and, which was really weird, and she felt really sick, was just hurting. We went to a first discussion, and the lady we happened to be teaching the first discussion was pregnant, which was really sort of interesting. We ended up not teaching her a first discussion because she didn’t have time but the fact that she was pregnant brought on another discussion with my companion.

"We said, my companion said to me, “Do you think I look pregnant because why does everybody call me pregnant?” And I was like, “well I kind of understand because you’re really pretty skinny it’s just your stomach is sort of bigger and your ankles are always swollen. So I can see why people say you might look pregnant.” She said “no, no, no, no, no, if I was pregnant I’d look like that lady.” So she was sort of brainwashing me to make sure that I like, didn’t think she was pregnant.

"So I’m like okay, you don’t have to explain yourself, but anyway, so it was February 18, 2000, the year 2000, I remember the day, and it was one of the hottest days of the year, and we were walking to an appointment, and it was like dirt roads, plus these rock roads, and it was so hard to walk on, like my feet hurt and it was like two miles to our appointment. We taught the appointment and I remember just sweating, and I was almost falling asleep, it was so hot, but she just kept truckin’, she was a strong, determined girl.

"After that she’s like, I feel really sick. And so we walked probably another mile or two to another member’s house and she, the member was like “Here, here’s some medicine” and she took the medicine and to me that was such a big deal because in our mission you couldn’t take medicine from members. But she did. And then she also, the member’s like, “Do you want to lay down?” and so she laid down and went to sleep. And I was like whoa, she’s like, she’s breaking two mission rules, I can’t believe this, because she was a very good companion, she obeyed all the rules.

"So she slept and I sat there with the member, and she was like “what’s wrong?” I was like “she’s really sick, we went to the hospital earlier, but it was sort of crazy, the doctors didn’t know what they were talking about,” so I was really confused. Anyway, she woke up and came out and was like “you know what, I think I need to go to the hospital” and I was like, well, why do you want to go the hospital if you don’t like the doctor? I was really confused.

"But she said that it was okay, they were going to give her some saline, and the doctor told her to come back and get some saline. I thought that was strange from an American perspective but if you live in Brazil it’s not very strange if you just stop by the hospital and get some saline to charge you up. It’s very common, at least from what I experienced down there.

"So we’re going to the hospital and I was like, “Sister, I know there’s a rule in the mission that if you go to stay in the hospital you have to call the mission president to get permission.” And so, she’s like, she didn’t want to, but finally she agreed to call, and, so I was sort of excited because she was going to call the mission office, and I have no idea how to use the phone in Brazil. So she said she was going to call and I was hoping that she’d get the American Elders or the mission president and I could sneak on the phone and ask him like, what I should do, because I was sort of suspicious, I was just confused.

"So we went to the chapel, we called, and she’s on the phone, and I was like “who are you talking to?” She said it was one of the Brazilian Elders. So I was like dang it, how am I supposed to tell somebody about this in English. I couldn’t. She said it was okay, and we went to the hospital.

"We got to the hospital, and on the way there she’s like “okay, Sister, you’re going to stay with the member and I’m going to go to the hospital and you’re going to go proselyte for a couple of hours and then come back and pick me up because we can’t lose proselyting hours. And I was so confused because like, wait a second, the mission rule is you have to stay with your companion, I know that.

"And then she’s like, “oh the sisters do it all the time in my old area they would just leave me in the hospital and leave me with the doctors and go and work so we didn’t miss hours.” And I was all what? I was so confused and I was like, “Sister, I know this is a rule.” And she’s like, “well wait here.”

"She went outside and she came back in like five minutes because she wanted to find out how long it would be. And she also told me I shouldn’t go because if I went the doctors would just make fun of me and tease me that she was pregnant and having a baby and I shouldn’t go because they would just make fun of me.

"I was really confused, but she came back out, and she was like shaking, sweating, and I was like “no, Sister I have to go with you” and she was like “no you can’t” and the member was like we’ve got to get out of here, she’s crazy just leave her here. She was just, she was insane basically."

Will Joni ever become un-confused? Come back tomorrow and find out!