Here are some tidbits I gleaned from one of our visiting stake speakers in sacrament meeting yesterday:
His special effects work saved Titanic--yes, that one. The most successful movie of all time.
If a single guy on a motorcycle is rooting through your garbage for food, it might be him.
We aren't prepared for potential disasters, otherwise someone less qualified would have been called to his position.
All things related to emergency preparedness are "pragmatics," which apparently means there is no spiritual aspect.
In other words, his is not a "sexy" calling.
MacGyver is overrated.
Human bodies falling from tall buildings look like specks of pepper from a distance, and birds that get sucked into jet engines can be described in similarly morbid ways.
We are probably smart enough to stick a bucket out to collect rainwater, but otherwise would be in big trouble if suddenly there were no safe drinking water within a ten-mile radius.
When disaster strikes, start texting.
About 80% of my ward will be inactive within the next ten years. "This is a statistic."
That might be a good thing, though, because we are clearly unprepared for the seemingly-inevitable sacrament meeting hostage-taking.
That's about it. I feel bad about this...I feel bad that because I am focusing on the weirdness of the talk, I will likely ignore the true and important principles of emergency preparedness (I currently have no water storage, for example). I also feel bad that I don't feel bad about ridiculing the talk in this way.
But beyond the ludicrous, callous, and downright strange comments peppered throughout, there was an overriding sense of arrogance and self-centeredness to his message that seemed to ask for this kind of treatment. He spoke as if he had just been elected to an office and this was his victory speech, like we had come to church specifically to hear him. There's really only one place for that kind of conceit, and that, of course, is a blog.
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6 comments:
Wow, just wow.
Your notes are a lot like the notes I wrote in my MTC journal when Donny Osmond came to sing to us on Christmas Eve. Let's just say and spiritual message I might have taken away from the fireside was blocked by my seething anger/hatred. At least YOU could see the humor.
My dad says I still need to repent for my angry feelings for Donny Osmond.
I love this post! Thank you.
i thought the only reason he brought up the whole Titanic thing was to impress the ladies. I personally wasnt impressed at all. I hate that movie so much.
I'm one of the very few who has never seen Titanic, and it's at least in part because of Susie giving me her review of it. I also recall Susie editing Wedding Singer for me by yelling really loud when the swears came up. Yes, I remember obscure things.
But Susie, you and Donny really need to patch things up. I can't bear to see you two fighting.
Sunday school yesterday...and the only thing I got out of it was a misconstrued "quote." Apparently Elder Scott *said* that the strongest missionaries are sent stateside. Do I need to mention that our teacher served in Tucson?
Anyway, I could not focus on the rest of the lesson AT ALL because of the idiotic (and, after reading the talk, completely misunderstood) tangent he brought up.
That was just ONE comment in the class. I couldn't imagine being in yours!
thank goodness for blogs. where else could we vent about stuff that would no doubt offend the person we are venting about? I love it. Weird talk. Weirder dude.
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