Jagged metal Krusty O's

I have staples in my stomach and am not wearing underwear, but for the last few weeks I haven't looked or felt much like a centerfold.

After a big meal at ESPNZone (where I had watched BYU's season-opening win) two Saturdays ago, I developed some pretty intense heartburn-ish stomach pain that prevented me from sleeping. By Monday night, the pain morphed into a sharp, stabbing sensation in my upper right abdomen. At 5:30 Tuesday morning, I woke up my roommate, got him to help me to the hospital, and a few hours later I had my gall bladder removed.

I'm not going to write much about it, because I like to write about lighter, funnier things on here. My recovery is going well; I ended up requiring the more intensive of the two types of gall bladder surgery (hence the staples sealing up my 12-inch-plus stomach incision), and was in the hospital for six days, but I'm home now and generally comfortable (Tylenol with codeine isn't as good as Percocet, but it's getting the job done).

The gall bladder caused my problems, but most of the post-surgery discomfort I've experienced has been slightly lower on my body. I've endured rectal thermometers, anal suppositories, a quickie prostate exam, and worst of all, multiple catheters, including one that's been in since Thursday afternoon and will be in until at least Friday morning. I'm basically wearing a pee holster, that has to be emptied every three hours or so. It's not pleasant. Keep your fingers crossed that I'll be able to tinkle on my own when I go back to the doctor.

I hope I'm not coming across as a complainer; I think I'm generally quite the opposite, in fact. I've had tons of support from my friends here in the city, and have really enjoyed and appreciated all of the visits, calls, food, fans, and everything else that they've done to serve me. My mom also says thank you to everyone who has been taking care of me.

So, to recap: I was in a lot of pain, surgery took care of it, I'm well on my way to recovery, I no longer take the ability to urinate for granted, and hopefully I won't have to write about this stuff again.