Colors That End In Urple

It was tough reliving my failure on the Millionaire test in my last post, but my shot at redemption is right around the corner. Next week, I will be taking the Jeopardy! online test, my latest of several attempts to become a contestant on the venerable quiz show. If you want, you can too--go here to register. You can take the 50-question test on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.

(By the way, the title of this post comes from my favorite SNL "Celebrity Jeopardy" sketch. Check out the transcript--there are at least a half-dozen other lines I could've used as a title that would have been just as funny.)

This will be at least the third time I've taken the online test, and I also tried and failed at a "Brain Bus" event in Salt Lake City a few years ago. But the only time I actually came close to making it on the show was the first time I auditioned.

In the summer of 2002, I secured a coveted audition spot for Jeopardy!'s College Tournament. I convinced my former roommate Kyle to drive me to LA (he paid for gas and I paid for everything else; it was a really nice thing for him to do, since the trip was too short for us to do much else and he wasn't auditioning). As far as I can remember, it was the first road trip I ever went on, not counting family vacations or the shady media referrals we got from the Isle of Skye when I was a missionary in Inverness.

For some reason, the audition was held on the Wheel of Fortune set. We first took a written test similar to next week's online one (short answer questions--no need to use "What is..." at this point--one each from 50 different categories), then we waited while they graded the tests. Kyle and the other family and friends accompanying auditioners were allowed to take the test for fun. They came back and read the names of those who passed. They never reveal test scores, and I can't remember how I found out, but I left that day knowing that 35 out of 50 was the cutoff point, and I think it still is.

Anyway...I was one of 11 people that got to stay for the next part of the audition! I passed the test! Which is pretty impressive, since to me it's always seemed that the Tournament of Champions episodes are the only ones with tougher questions than the College Tournament (followed by regular Jeopardy!, the teens, kids, and then, finally, the celebrities). We got to take part in a mock game (alas, Alex Trebek was not there--nor was Vanna White, for that matter), including holding real buzzers and talking about ourselves to the host. I questioned a few answers correctly and generally gave a good showing for myself.

But then it was done. The show producers said that our test scores, applications, and performance in the mock game would all be considered, and that they also wanted to choose a geographically and culturally diverse group of competitors. Then I went back to Utah and never heard anything from the show again.

But I came close. If my memory serves me correctly (and it usually does), there were only eight audition sessions with 100 people each (which probably means I was pretty lucky even to get the chance). If the 11 test-passers in my group was an average number, then I made it to the final 100, from which 15 contestants and one alternate were chosen. I made it as far as I could without actually appearing on the show. Which, in a way, is even more devastating than doing poorly on the test.

I have now chronicled my auditions for Amateur Night at the Apollo, American Idol, and Jeopardy! on this blog. I'm pretty sure the only full blown, in-person auditions I haven't covered are the time I went out for the school play my senior year ("Wait Until Dark"--I would've been a great Rote), and another quick journey to SoCal with my friend Will and sister Lori in hopes of getting on VH1's World Series of Pop Culture. All in due time, I suppose. It's my destiny to be a game show contestant someday, and if I come closer to achieving that destiny next week, I'll be sure to let you know.