This is where the magic happens

Two weeks ago, I attended a taping of The Rachael Ray Show with my friends Aja and Amy. I have never seen a full episode of that show (still haven't, even after the taping; more on that later), just a few minutes at a time here and there at the laundromat. I am, however, more experienced than most when it comes to being a member of a studio audience.

Rachael's show is the sixth that I've been to in New York. I've been to The Late Show With David Letterman (in the summer of '03, the rest have been in the last year), The Colbert Report (my friend Tamara's grand experiment recently took her there as well), The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and The Martha Stewart Show (there, done with italicized titles for the rest of the post).

Assuming that everyone finds the television industry as mesmerizing as I do, let me share with you some of the highlights, lowlights and other notable observations from my experiences. If you ever take a trip to New York, try to work a TV taping into your schedule. And if you live here, take advantage--it's one of the best forms of free entertainment the city has to offer.

FELLOW ATTENDEES
Best: A tie between Aja, Amy, Ashli, Corina, Dyann, Jessica, Katie, Larissa, Natalie and Randall. (Like I'm going to rank my friends. Check two posts back--I'm too lazy for that.)
Worst: If all of my friends are tied for best, then I guess, by default, they're also all tied for worst. Sorry guys.
Worth mentioning: Joel would be on this list, but he didn't make it to the Daily Show studio in time. Such a shame.

IN-LINE EXPERIENCE
Best: Definitely Martha. They have trucks parked nearby where you can get free bagels, hot chocolate, cider, even White Castle cheeseburgers while you wait. A very pleasant surprise.
Worst: Colbert. This was the first time I had ever reserved tickets for a TV taping, so at the time I didn't realize that all shows say they distribute more tickets than they have seats (if you have non-standby tickets, you'll definitely get in as long as you're not really late). As a result, I showed up several hours early, and it was so cold that day. Plus, my friends didn't show up until nearly literally the last minute, so I didn't have anyone to talk to while I waited.
Worth mentioning: While you wait in line for Letterman, their audience coordinators interact with you, basically auditioning you so they can find the most energetic people and stick them in the front of the theater. Realizing this is what was happening, Natalie and Dyann pretended to be lesbians. We ended up in the front row.

AUDIENCE WRANGLERS
Best: These folks get a lot of different titles ("guest coordinators," "pages," etc.), but basically they just make sure everyone has tickets, doesn't have any weapons with them, and knows where they can and can't go both inside and outside of the studio. As I mentioned above, the Letterman pages probably did the most talking to the audience, but that was so long ago that I really don't remember what they were like. The folks at Martha were very friendly, and they even have a coat check.
Worst: The wording in the online ticket application and confirmation e-mail from the Daily Show was fairly snooty. They were ok in person, but there must have been something pretty irksome in that e-mail if I still remember it a year later.
Worth mentioning: The security guards at Millionaire were grumpy, but that's a separate part of the operation. They let Aja keep her wire cutters with her (for making her Halloween costume, I promise) mainly because they didn't want to stick around to give them back to her after the taping.

WAITING AREA BATHROOM
Best: Martha (does that surprise anyone?). It was actually a real public bathroom, at least as good as what you'd find at an airport or LDS chapel.
Worst: Colbert had one of those gas station-type restrooms, a closet where they stuck a sink and a toilet, and you're lucky if there's a garbage can. Much luckier if there's soap and TP. I didn't use the Daily Show bathroom, but I was told it was pretty similar.
Worth mentioning: It was nice enough inside, but to get to the Rachael Ray men's room you have to go down this weird, really narrow hallway. It's like they didn't think any male would ever want to attend the show, and did some hasty remodeling when they discovered their mistake.

WARM-UP COMIC
Best: Can't remember if Letterman had one, but I'm pretty sure he did. I like Rachael Ray's guy, RC Smith. He was pretty funny, didn't seem particularly bitter about his place in the world (many comedians do), and even ribbed me a little (he asked a guy in the crowd what his name was, he said Jeff, so I clapped).
Worst: Probably Colbert's guy, whose name escapes me. He wasn't bad, just not as good as the others. He also was the only one who had to deal with hecklers, and I admire the restraint he showed in that situation.
Worth mentioning: Paul Mercurio was the warm-up guy for Stewart when I went in April, and also for Millionaire when I was there in October. Don't know if he got fired from The Daily Show, or if they weren't taping that day, but I think the tapings overlap a little so he probably can't do both on the same day. But it was surprising to see him at the second show.

WARM-UP GUY AS AUDIENCE WRANGLER
Best: Probably Joey Kola, Martha's opener. He actually didn't tell any jokes, but I've seen him do comedy on TV before. He was the most thorough on telling us where to look, when and how much to clap, and even had specific hand signals for when the audience was supposed to "ooh" or "mmm."
Worst: Smith. He was funny, but did very little of the stuff Kola did, and as a result I don't think Ms. Ray always got the crowd reactions she expected or wanted.
Worth mentioning: When you're part of a live studio audience, they basically want you to overreact to everything, to clap and laugh often and loudly, so people watching at home will be tricked into thinking the show is good. Or something like that. And I totally buy into it. I'm a great audience member.

STUDIO
Best: It would be hard to make a case for any TV studio over the Ed Sullivan Theater, where Letterman does his show. It's history and size are impressive, and the studio extends, in a way, to neighboring businesses like Rupert's Hello Deli. Plus, as I mentioned above, we were in the front row! With my aisle seat, no audience member was closer to Dave while he did his monologue than I was (oh, I miss Winona Ryder jokes).
Worst: I'll go with Millionaire. Although it did have the little voting machines for the contestant lifeline, which was cool. Hmm. Although I didn't like everything about the various studio experiences, I guess there was nothing about the studios themselves that I really disliked.
Worth mentioning: As we sat down for the RR show, we noticed we were facing just one of the four or five sets in the studio. I joked that they must spin the audience around in between segments. I joked, because I haven't seen the show before--because that's exactly what they do. As RC said, the Rachael Ray seats are essentially a giant lazy Susan, which is pretty cool.

GUESTS
Best: When I went to Letterman, he had Halle Berry on, promoting the second X-Men movie (did I mention I was in the front row? sweet!), as well as Don Rickles, who as usual made a bunch of insensitive jokes and then yelled at the audience for not laughing at them. I love Don Rickles.
Worst: By default, Rachael Ray. They must have had celebrities with tight schedules, because while I was there all that they taped were two cooking segments and one audience question segment. As far as actual guests go, Cokie Roberts was pretty bland on the Daily Show.
Worth mentioning: As I've documented, Colbert's guest was relatively obscure but his segment was memorable. Kristin Chenoweth's appearance on Martha was pretty funny, including Kristin saying "orgasm" when she meant "organza" and Martha talking about "Christmas dreidels."

FREE STUFF
Best: Martha blows the competition away in this category. Not only did we get free food in line before we came in, but during the show we got to sample some gooey coconut dream bars made by Amy from Amy's Bread, another guest on that day's show. We also got a gift bag as we left the studio, which contained Amy's new cookbook (which I shamelessly regifted to my mom for Christmas), Chenoweth's new Christmas CD, and a bag of holiday M&Ms. Martha Stewart hooked me up.
Worst: They taped two episodes of Millionaire at the taping I attended. In between, they passed around hard candy for us to suck on so we would still have strong voices to yell and scream with during the second episode.
Worth mentioning: Rachael Ray gave everyone one of her magazines and a random treat (I ended up with a small box of chocolates), and I got a free Colbert Report t-shirt (proclaiming "it's what Lincoln would've watched" on the back) for answering a trivia question, but Martha's freebies were still the best.

SURPRISE
Best: Getting on the front row of Letterman and getting free stuff from Martha were unexpected bonuses, but the nicest surprise was probably that the Millionaire taping wasn't boring. It was actually a pretty fun experience.
Worst: However, Millionaire wins for worst surprise as well. After the taping, they let anyone who wanted to audition for the show (this was the reason I went in the first place). Shockingly, I did not pass the 30-question general knowledge test, the first part of the audition process! Trivia is supposed to be my strong suit. I left feeling very disappointed in myself.
Worth mentioning: Millionaire once again. Before the taping began, they had us all take our jackets off, because the episodes wouldn't air until May! (I was there in late October.) What happens if one of the contestants dies before it airs? That would be awkward.

OVERALL EXPERIENCE
Best: Colbert is my favorite TV personality, and his show is perhaps the best one currently on the air. Being there in person was amazing, and that episode was pretty funny (definitely one of the best that he did during the writer's strike). But that gift bag was impressive. Martha Stewart pulls off the big upset!
Worst: The Rachael Ray taping was so disjointed; it didn't feel like we were seeing a TV show (mostly because we were seeing parts of two shows). Plus, as I said, there were no celebrity guests (although they did give us a voucher to get back to the front of the ticket request queue, so we can come back and see a better episode). It was definitely the least enjoyable taping I've been part of.
Worth mentioning: I'm hoping to go to one of Conan's final episodes before he leaves for LA in March, and I may get bored or high enough someday to go see Tyra. And someday I will be in the audience for SNL. So this list is a work in progress, I guess.

Did I leave any categories out? Anything about the wonderful world of live TV that you're still curious about? Let me know in the comments.