Today is International Joke Day! It's also Canada Day. I don't know if that's coincidental, or if the two are related, and if so which spawned the other. It's one of those chicken and the egg things. Or chicken crossing the road things. Or something.
I love jokes. I especially love puns. I'm a pretty good joke teller. I have good timing and delivery, especially when it comes to deadpan. But I haven't had a lot of success creating my own jokes.
The first joke I ever made up was the classic "Why did the fisherman go fishing?," and its variant "Why didn't he go fishing?" I used to tell this "joke" to my family, changing the punchline every time so they couldn't get it right. Sometimes he had run out of worms, sometimes it was raining, sometimes he didn't like fish...hilarious.
More recently I've been making a joke that hasn't gone over as well as I thought it would. Three months ago I bought a car, a 1995 Buick Park Avenue. When telling people about my sweet ride, I've mentioned that my car is almost old enough to drive itself. I've used the line about a dozen times, never resulting in more than a chuckle. Now I'm second-guessing my plan to start joking next March about the Iraq war reaching the age of accountability.
Compounding the problem, one of the three stand up routines I've ever written is now obsolete, thanks to Domino's new and improved pizza.
Basically, I need some new jokes. So celebrate IJD by sharing some of your favorites in the comments!
This is where I try to show off how funny and clever I am.
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6 comments:
Hi Jeff. I'm Kathryn. Your dad is my mom's cousin. I'm also Rachel S's middle sister. Nice to meet you.
Here's a joke I came up with when I was spending too much time around doctors. It might not make sense if you've never spent hours at a time listening to other people dictate notes:
A woman goes out to a club wearing a new dress. It is covered with polka dots and has a large, adorable puppy dog appliquéd on the front. She walks in and everyone in the club turns around and starts pointing and laughing. The dress is cute, but just not in the right way. The poor woman is so embarrassed, she starts to panic, she starts to hyperventilate, she passes out and has to be taken to the hospital.
Later that night, the resident on the service dictates his note: A female in a cute, dissed dress....
If you didn't get it, ask your favorite medical professional. Or just keep this one in your pocket in case you need to liven up your next check-up.
What did the Zen Buddhist say to the New York City hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything..."
Happy IJD!
Thanks for sharing, Kathryn! That was a very intricate joke.
And of course, Angela, I appreciate any joke that involves New York hot dogs.
This post made me and David crack up. I guess that means that writing about how funny you're not makes you funny. Oh, the cruel irony!
I loved the car joke, btw.
and another btw, you ARE funny.
What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre. (thanks to Ricky Irion for that one.)
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