I put this up on Facebook earlier in the week (everyone was putting up a list of 25 bits of personal trivia, and I always go along with the crowd), but didn't want anyone to miss out on learning more about me. For those of you who have already read this list, I've spruced it up with some cool links and a brand new entry at #25. Next time I have nothing to write about, I'll probably regret not saving some of these items and turning them into their own posts, but oh well.
1. When I was a kid, I shared a room with my older brother, and after lunch on Saturdays we had to take naps. To get out of this, on more than one occasion we would "wet my bed"--stand up next to my bed and use the mattress as a toilet. For some reason my mom never questioned why my sheets were wet but not my pants, but I figure now that she must have known. (Nothing like starting off a list like this with a bang, eh?)
2. That time when I was little and I claimed I said "Dan" to my brother and sister? I lied. I really swore. And I swore a couple more times in my youth because I thought it was cool. But now I really dislike cursing. I’m more likely to be put off by bad language in a movie or TV show than by violent or sexual content. Unless the swearing is done by Will Smith.
3. Once I stole a pack’s worth of baseball cards from my Primary teacher’s house while at a party there. My rationale: the cards were loose in the toy box, and their oldest child was just 3 years old at the time--too young, I supposed, to appreciate the cards. I still have them. (I promise this note will be more than a list of my childhood indiscretions.)
4. I’m a genius. I won an award from the Rocky Mountain Talent Search in the 7th grade for highest ACT score in the state for my age level (I got a 26). When I took the test for real in high school, I scored a 34.
5. I've never been shy about letting people know how smart I am, either. In elementary school, if I was the first to finish a test, I would "discretely" rustle my paper as I walked to the teacher’s desk to turn it in. I ceased this practice when I was called on it by Brad Price, a smart and highly-competitive classmate.
6. I used to be a really picky eater. I ate peanut butter sandwiches (no jelly), cereal, and that was about it. Now I will gladly try anything, and there are very few foods I don’t like (not much of a surprise when you look at my belly).
7. Some discontinued foods that I really miss: PB Max, Toll House Cookie Bars, the Sonic pancake on a stick, O'Boises (they’re O’Boisterous!), Crystal Pepsi, the German chocolate brownie at Mrs. Fields, and various novelty cereals (Smurf Berry Crunch, Nintendo, Mr. T (I'm not the only one who liked it), Ghostbusters, Batman, etc.).
8. I've always been attracted to redheads. Certainly not exclusively, but I’m definitely on the “pro” side of this sometimes-polarizing debate.
9. If I’m watching TV alone, I usually do it standing up. Especially if I’m watching sports.
10. When I worked as a phone-screener on Marie Osmond’s radio show, I had to try to mislead every caller into thinking we were on the air live. It was weird.
11. Speaking of deception...my house was one of many in which children were banned from watching The Simpsons. I watched it anyway, when I could get away with it. Tired of having to turn it off whenever I heard someone coming, I eventually challenged my mom to watch an episode with me and see if it was as bad as she thought it was. She agreed, we watched the episode where Marge starts a pretzel business, and Mom determined the show was unobjectionable (though not entertaining to her). I began taping the episodes in case she changed her mind later on. Although it’s not nearly as good as it used to be, The Simpsons is definitely my all-time favorite show. Which, considering how much TV I watch, is really saying something.
12. I vividly remember the time my dad lost his temper at FHE because it was so out of character for him. He’s great.
13. One of my favorite things about living in New York is not having to drive. I've never enjoyed driving. I am a good driver though (but poor at parking).
14. The two things I do on a semi-regular basis that make me most nervous are ask girls on dates and give Priesthood blessings.
15. I’m still surprised that my idea of a "Start the Fast" activity didn't become more popular than "Break the Fast" in my student ward.
16. I now regret any time in the past where I described people or things as "gay," "retarded," and similarly inappropriate words.
17. My favorite sport to play is wallyball (volleyball on a racquetball court) because I can actually perform pretty well, since there’s hardly any running involved, and my inability to hit the ball straight is actually an asset. Plus, BYU Intramural rules negate some of the potential advantages held by people who can jump. It’s right up my alley.
18. If I have an open package of cookies or cheese, no matter how much is left, I’m at least as likely to finish the package as I am to eat some and put the rest away.
19. It’s been WAY too long since I kissed anybody.
20. I've had many nicknames in my life. First it was "Peepo," because of the way I said "people" when I was little (and not because of this). My friend Wade called me "Jeffrey Huggins" after the Beverly Cleary character Henry Huggins. Future NBA player Britton Johnsen christened me Lurch in junior high, because back then I was tall and skinny and never smiled. In high school everyone called me Hoover, but not because I sucked (although the origin does—my middle name is Edward, or Mr. Ed, who was a horse, and horses have hooves...seriously, that’s it...). In college, my coworker Natalie labeled our studio crew "the Fat Kids," because all the other BYU Broadcasting employees looked down on us "like the fat kid who gets picked last for softball."
21. I watched more R-rated movies in one of my mission areas (although they weren't rated R there, since the UK uses a different system, and this total includes watching "The Green Mile" at the bishop’s house on Christmas day) than I have in the rest of my life combined.
22. My brother and I engaged in some epic games of jungle ball in our bedroom. We had a big, round laundry detergent container that we used as a basket, and one of those rubber balls you get for two bucks from ShopKo. The only rule was you had to dribble. We’d play for over an hour and the final score would be something like 6-4. The rest of the time, we were grappling on the floor. My brother was bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than me, but if I could get around behind him I’d dig my chin into his back. Plus, there was the time my brother sheared off our doorknob trying to pull himself up, and another time I knocked him back and he put his butt through the drywall. I count those as victories.
23. I’m already on the lookout for ideas for this year’s Halloween costume. For some reason, I think it would be hilarious if I dressed as Kim Jong-il.
24. I really like music videos. The cheesier the better. Many of my favorite songs rate high on my list mainly because I like the video for the song.
25. A middle-aged lady I tried to help reactivate in one of my mission areas told me I have "come-to-bed eyes." I'm pretty sure she meant it as a compliment.
I'll stop there, but rest assured I could easily come up with seven or eight more. I'm a pretty interesting fellow.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Don't panic
[In my last post I described the first road trip I ever took. That reminded me of what is likely my most memorable road trip ever, which I recount here, in the latest of my occasional series in which I rerun one of my old Laugh Out Loud blog entries. Enjoy!]
And bring a towel. And all that other great hitchhiking advice from Douglas Adams's tremendous book and the highly underrated 2005 movie version (which featured the tremendous Zooey Deschanel) that I didn't think I would ever need...but I was wrong.
A few of us had quite an adventure recently. We got hired to do a show in the thriving metropolis of Afton, Wyoming, at the all-night graduation party of the Star Valley High (not to be confused with Sweet Valley High) Braves. The biggest drama on the trip up was Erica trying to figure out how to make a relationship work with her new, hot, would-be boyfriend, an MMA fighter (he's conveniently referred to by us, Erica included, as "Mark Fighter") who was leaving in a few days to start chiropractic school in Iowa. The show was a lot of fun, the kids were great (America's future is secure in the hands of these recent graduates, including the ones who almost didn't get to graduate after turning the halls of the school into a giant slip-and-slide), and they gave us some excellent chocolate milk from the Shumway Dairy.
It turns out I love parenthetical statements. (But really, who doesn't?)
The parents running the party arranged for us to spend the night with a family who lived in the outskirts of Smoot, Wyoming (population 193). I didn't realize a place that size had outskirts. As I got out of Fred's car, my finger somehow got smashed as Fred was putting up his power windows. If I was a worrier by nature, I would've hoped that was the worst car-related mishap we'd have on this trip; but I'm not, so I mainly just focused on how much my finger hurt.
After a great breakfast the next morning, we set off for home. We made it about 10 miles before Fred pulled off the road because the car wasn't working right. KC assured us, based on his travel experiences to and from Jackson Hole last summer, that the problem was altitude-related and if we waited a few minutes the car would work fine again.
KC lied.
After doing what tinkering we could, and getting what advice we could from a few kind souls who stopped to offer assistance, we finally decided the car probably wasn't going anywhere. The car that stopped didn't have room for any of us, but they said they'd send a tow truck our way when they got back to Afton (oh yeah, none of us could get cell service where we were stranded).
Meanwhile, Erica was getting antsy, because she had a flight to catch that afternoon so she could go home to Connecticut for Memorial Day weekend. She decided to hitchhike (when we play the game Story in our shows, we try to avoid having the characters "decide" things and try to have them just do things. I'm not being a very good story-teller here). I decided (dang, not again!) to go with her, for a few reasons: we figured it'd be safer for two of us to hitchhike than just Erica alone; I too was tired of standing on the side of the road; and I have an unbelievably awesome family (worthy of several blog posts of their own), and I knew that if we could get part of the way back, like to Evanston or something, someone in my family would come and get us and bring us back the rest of the way.
For the first time in my life, I stood on the side of a highway and stuck out my thumb. It seemed like much longer, but after about 15 minutes a truck driver stopped. He was on his way to Logan and offered to take us along. KC took some pictures of this meeting; he said he took them in case he never saw us again.
(I don't remember it being windy that day, but it must have been gusting--look how much my t-shirt is puffing out!)
Any fears for our safety were quickly laid to rest. The trucker, Jeff Mitchell, was an incredibly nice guy--that's why he stopped, and we're so grateful to him for his help. He's from Hinckley, Utah, which is just outside of Delta (Utah's answer to Smoot and Afton, Wyoming, respectively), so he's close enough to come to an LOL show some time (we invited him to do so, and I hope he accepts, so we can give him the ovation he deserves).
The next few hours were relatively uneventful, except for a few times that we had to stop because cows were being herded across the road. I think I saw Billy Crystal. Within a few miles, I got some bars on my phone and called my mom. She and my sister Julie cancelled a hike they had been planning for a while, and started driving north to meet us. Jeff decided dropping us off in Tremonton would be most convenient for all involved. We ended up getting let off at a truck stop where, almost 2 years ago, I had been forced to pull off the road while driving to Boise to do a show. My sister's car was there, parked right next to the stain left by my puddle of transmission fluid. Seriously. It was kind of eerie.
It was about 12:45 at this point, and Erica's flight left at 4:45. Good thing Julie was driving and not Mom. My sis was amazing: darting in and out of traffic, getting up above 90 mph when possible (uh, LOL does not condone any violation of traffic laws), but even with her her superb driving, we didn't drop Erica off at her apartment in Provo until 3:00. She still had one last mad dash ahead of her, but thankfully Mark Fighter got her to her flight on time.
So Erica's story had a happy ending (except the part about her dream guy moving thousands of miles away). But my day wasn't over yet. We had an LOL show that night, and Fred and KC were supposed to be in it! Allan and I kept trying to call them all day to check their status, but their phones didn't have service until late afternoon when they were on their way back (again, thanks to the kindness and sacrifice of some great people. I don't know all the details of what happened after I got in Jeff's truck, including any details about these other photos taken by KC, so hopefully one of them will blog about it soon).
So much thanks again to everyone who helped us out in our excellent adventure to Wyoming and back. And thanks to anyone who actually read this entire, terminally-long post. You're just as benevolent as they are.
And bring a towel. And all that other great hitchhiking advice from Douglas Adams's tremendous book and the highly underrated 2005 movie version (which featured the tremendous Zooey Deschanel) that I didn't think I would ever need...but I was wrong.
A few of us had quite an adventure recently. We got hired to do a show in the thriving metropolis of Afton, Wyoming, at the all-night graduation party of the Star Valley High (not to be confused with Sweet Valley High) Braves. The biggest drama on the trip up was Erica trying to figure out how to make a relationship work with her new, hot, would-be boyfriend, an MMA fighter (he's conveniently referred to by us, Erica included, as "Mark Fighter") who was leaving in a few days to start chiropractic school in Iowa. The show was a lot of fun, the kids were great (America's future is secure in the hands of these recent graduates, including the ones who almost didn't get to graduate after turning the halls of the school into a giant slip-and-slide), and they gave us some excellent chocolate milk from the Shumway Dairy.
It turns out I love parenthetical statements. (But really, who doesn't?)
The parents running the party arranged for us to spend the night with a family who lived in the outskirts of Smoot, Wyoming (population 193). I didn't realize a place that size had outskirts. As I got out of Fred's car, my finger somehow got smashed as Fred was putting up his power windows. If I was a worrier by nature, I would've hoped that was the worst car-related mishap we'd have on this trip; but I'm not, so I mainly just focused on how much my finger hurt.
After a great breakfast the next morning, we set off for home. We made it about 10 miles before Fred pulled off the road because the car wasn't working right. KC assured us, based on his travel experiences to and from Jackson Hole last summer, that the problem was altitude-related and if we waited a few minutes the car would work fine again.
KC lied.
After doing what tinkering we could, and getting what advice we could from a few kind souls who stopped to offer assistance, we finally decided the car probably wasn't going anywhere. The car that stopped didn't have room for any of us, but they said they'd send a tow truck our way when they got back to Afton (oh yeah, none of us could get cell service where we were stranded).
Meanwhile, Erica was getting antsy, because she had a flight to catch that afternoon so she could go home to Connecticut for Memorial Day weekend. She decided to hitchhike (when we play the game Story in our shows, we try to avoid having the characters "decide" things and try to have them just do things. I'm not being a very good story-teller here). I decided (dang, not again!) to go with her, for a few reasons: we figured it'd be safer for two of us to hitchhike than just Erica alone; I too was tired of standing on the side of the road; and I have an unbelievably awesome family (worthy of several blog posts of their own), and I knew that if we could get part of the way back, like to Evanston or something, someone in my family would come and get us and bring us back the rest of the way.
For the first time in my life, I stood on the side of a highway and stuck out my thumb. It seemed like much longer, but after about 15 minutes a truck driver stopped. He was on his way to Logan and offered to take us along. KC took some pictures of this meeting; he said he took them in case he never saw us again.
(I don't remember it being windy that day, but it must have been gusting--look how much my t-shirt is puffing out!)
Any fears for our safety were quickly laid to rest. The trucker, Jeff Mitchell, was an incredibly nice guy--that's why he stopped, and we're so grateful to him for his help. He's from Hinckley, Utah, which is just outside of Delta (Utah's answer to Smoot and Afton, Wyoming, respectively), so he's close enough to come to an LOL show some time (we invited him to do so, and I hope he accepts, so we can give him the ovation he deserves).
The next few hours were relatively uneventful, except for a few times that we had to stop because cows were being herded across the road. I think I saw Billy Crystal. Within a few miles, I got some bars on my phone and called my mom. She and my sister Julie cancelled a hike they had been planning for a while, and started driving north to meet us. Jeff decided dropping us off in Tremonton would be most convenient for all involved. We ended up getting let off at a truck stop where, almost 2 years ago, I had been forced to pull off the road while driving to Boise to do a show. My sister's car was there, parked right next to the stain left by my puddle of transmission fluid. Seriously. It was kind of eerie.
It was about 12:45 at this point, and Erica's flight left at 4:45. Good thing Julie was driving and not Mom. My sis was amazing: darting in and out of traffic, getting up above 90 mph when possible (uh, LOL does not condone any violation of traffic laws), but even with her her superb driving, we didn't drop Erica off at her apartment in Provo until 3:00. She still had one last mad dash ahead of her, but thankfully Mark Fighter got her to her flight on time.
So Erica's story had a happy ending (except the part about her dream guy moving thousands of miles away). But my day wasn't over yet. We had an LOL show that night, and Fred and KC were supposed to be in it! Allan and I kept trying to call them all day to check their status, but their phones didn't have service until late afternoon when they were on their way back (again, thanks to the kindness and sacrifice of some great people. I don't know all the details of what happened after I got in Jeff's truck, including any details about these other photos taken by KC, so hopefully one of them will blog about it soon).
They raced to the Tanner Building as quickly as they could, arriving after I had already started warming up the crowd. They came in and did the show without warming up at all, and it was one of the best, most energetic shows I've ever been a part of (except for Faster Faster, where we cheated and tried to redo the cow milking competition scene we did the night before in Wyoming because it killed, but in Provo it fell kind of flat. That's what we get for trying to script improv--we won't be cheating like that in our shows any more).
So much thanks again to everyone who helped us out in our excellent adventure to Wyoming and back. And thanks to anyone who actually read this entire, terminally-long post. You're just as benevolent as they are.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Colors That End In Urple
It was tough reliving my failure on the Millionaire test in my last post, but my shot at redemption is right around the corner. Next week, I will be taking the Jeopardy! online test, my latest of several attempts to become a contestant on the venerable quiz show. If you want, you can too--go here to register. You can take the 50-question test on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.
(By the way, the title of this post comes from my favorite SNL "Celebrity Jeopardy" sketch. Check out the transcript--there are at least a half-dozen other lines I could've used as a title that would have been just as funny.)
This will be at least the third time I've taken the online test, and I also tried and failed at a "Brain Bus" event in Salt Lake City a few years ago. But the only time I actually came close to making it on the show was the first time I auditioned.
In the summer of 2002, I secured a coveted audition spot for Jeopardy!'s College Tournament. I convinced my former roommate Kyle to drive me to LA (he paid for gas and I paid for everything else; it was a really nice thing for him to do, since the trip was too short for us to do much else and he wasn't auditioning). As far as I can remember, it was the first road trip I ever went on, not counting family vacations or the shady media referrals we got from the Isle of Skye when I was a missionary in Inverness.
For some reason, the audition was held on the Wheel of Fortune set. We first took a written test similar to next week's online one (short answer questions--no need to use "What is..." at this point--one each from 50 different categories), then we waited while they graded the tests. Kyle and the other family and friends accompanying auditioners were allowed to take the test for fun. They came back and read the names of those who passed. They never reveal test scores, and I can't remember how I found out, but I left that day knowing that 35 out of 50 was the cutoff point, and I think it still is.
Anyway...I was one of 11 people that got to stay for the next part of the audition! I passed the test! Which is pretty impressive, since to me it's always seemed that the Tournament of Champions episodes are the only ones with tougher questions than the College Tournament (followed by regular Jeopardy!, the teens, kids, and then, finally, the celebrities). We got to take part in a mock game (alas, Alex Trebek was not there--nor was Vanna White, for that matter), including holding real buzzers and talking about ourselves to the host. I questioned a few answers correctly and generally gave a good showing for myself.
But then it was done. The show producers said that our test scores, applications, and performance in the mock game would all be considered, and that they also wanted to choose a geographically and culturally diverse group of competitors. Then I went back to Utah and never heard anything from the show again.
But I came close. If my memory serves me correctly (and it usually does), there were only eight audition sessions with 100 people each (which probably means I was pretty lucky even to get the chance). If the 11 test-passers in my group was an average number, then I made it to the final 100, from which 15 contestants and one alternate were chosen. I made it as far as I could without actually appearing on the show. Which, in a way, is even more devastating than doing poorly on the test.
I have now chronicled my auditions for Amateur Night at the Apollo, American Idol, and Jeopardy! on this blog. I'm pretty sure the only full blown, in-person auditions I haven't covered are the time I went out for the school play my senior year ("Wait Until Dark"--I would've been a great Rote), and another quick journey to SoCal with my friend Will and sister Lori in hopes of getting on VH1's World Series of Pop Culture. All in due time, I suppose. It's my destiny to be a game show contestant someday, and if I come closer to achieving that destiny next week, I'll be sure to let you know.
(By the way, the title of this post comes from my favorite SNL "Celebrity Jeopardy" sketch. Check out the transcript--there are at least a half-dozen other lines I could've used as a title that would have been just as funny.)
This will be at least the third time I've taken the online test, and I also tried and failed at a "Brain Bus" event in Salt Lake City a few years ago. But the only time I actually came close to making it on the show was the first time I auditioned.
In the summer of 2002, I secured a coveted audition spot for Jeopardy!'s College Tournament. I convinced my former roommate Kyle to drive me to LA (he paid for gas and I paid for everything else; it was a really nice thing for him to do, since the trip was too short for us to do much else and he wasn't auditioning). As far as I can remember, it was the first road trip I ever went on, not counting family vacations or the shady media referrals we got from the Isle of Skye when I was a missionary in Inverness.
For some reason, the audition was held on the Wheel of Fortune set. We first took a written test similar to next week's online one (short answer questions--no need to use "What is..." at this point--one each from 50 different categories), then we waited while they graded the tests. Kyle and the other family and friends accompanying auditioners were allowed to take the test for fun. They came back and read the names of those who passed. They never reveal test scores, and I can't remember how I found out, but I left that day knowing that 35 out of 50 was the cutoff point, and I think it still is.
Anyway...I was one of 11 people that got to stay for the next part of the audition! I passed the test! Which is pretty impressive, since to me it's always seemed that the Tournament of Champions episodes are the only ones with tougher questions than the College Tournament (followed by regular Jeopardy!, the teens, kids, and then, finally, the celebrities). We got to take part in a mock game (alas, Alex Trebek was not there--nor was Vanna White, for that matter), including holding real buzzers and talking about ourselves to the host. I questioned a few answers correctly and generally gave a good showing for myself.
But then it was done. The show producers said that our test scores, applications, and performance in the mock game would all be considered, and that they also wanted to choose a geographically and culturally diverse group of competitors. Then I went back to Utah and never heard anything from the show again.
But I came close. If my memory serves me correctly (and it usually does), there were only eight audition sessions with 100 people each (which probably means I was pretty lucky even to get the chance). If the 11 test-passers in my group was an average number, then I made it to the final 100, from which 15 contestants and one alternate were chosen. I made it as far as I could without actually appearing on the show. Which, in a way, is even more devastating than doing poorly on the test.
I have now chronicled my auditions for Amateur Night at the Apollo, American Idol, and Jeopardy! on this blog. I'm pretty sure the only full blown, in-person auditions I haven't covered are the time I went out for the school play my senior year ("Wait Until Dark"--I would've been a great Rote), and another quick journey to SoCal with my friend Will and sister Lori in hopes of getting on VH1's World Series of Pop Culture. All in due time, I suppose. It's my destiny to be a game show contestant someday, and if I come closer to achieving that destiny next week, I'll be sure to let you know.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
This is where the magic happens
Two weeks ago, I attended a taping of The Rachael Ray Show with my friends Aja and Amy. I have never seen a full episode of that show (still haven't, even after the taping; more on that later), just a few minutes at a time here and there at the laundromat. I am, however, more experienced than most when it comes to being a member of a studio audience.
Rachael's show is the sixth that I've been to in New York. I've been to The Late Show With David Letterman (in the summer of '03, the rest have been in the last year), The Colbert Report (my friend Tamara's grand experiment recently took her there as well), The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and The Martha Stewart Show (there, done with italicized titles for the rest of the post).
Assuming that everyone finds the television industry as mesmerizing as I do, let me share with you some of the highlights, lowlights and other notable observations from my experiences. If you ever take a trip to New York, try to work a TV taping into your schedule. And if you live here, take advantage--it's one of the best forms of free entertainment the city has to offer.
FELLOW ATTENDEES
Best: A tie between Aja, Amy, Ashli, Corina, Dyann, Jessica, Katie, Larissa, Natalie and Randall. (Like I'm going to rank my friends. Check two posts back--I'm too lazy for that.)
Worst: If all of my friends are tied for best, then I guess, by default, they're also all tied for worst. Sorry guys.
Worth mentioning: Joel would be on this list, but he didn't make it to the Daily Show studio in time. Such a shame.
IN-LINE EXPERIENCE
Best: Definitely Martha. They have trucks parked nearby where you can get free bagels, hot chocolate, cider, even White Castle cheeseburgers while you wait. A very pleasant surprise.
Worst: Colbert. This was the first time I had ever reserved tickets for a TV taping, so at the time I didn't realize that all shows say they distribute more tickets than they have seats (if you have non-standby tickets, you'll definitely get in as long as you're not really late). As a result, I showed up several hours early, and it was so cold that day. Plus, my friends didn't show up until nearly literally the last minute, so I didn't have anyone to talk to while I waited.
Worth mentioning: While you wait in line for Letterman, their audience coordinators interact with you, basically auditioning you so they can find the most energetic people and stick them in the front of the theater. Realizing this is what was happening, Natalie and Dyann pretended to be lesbians. We ended up in the front row.
AUDIENCE WRANGLERS
Best: These folks get a lot of different titles ("guest coordinators," "pages," etc.), but basically they just make sure everyone has tickets, doesn't have any weapons with them, and knows where they can and can't go both inside and outside of the studio. As I mentioned above, the Letterman pages probably did the most talking to the audience, but that was so long ago that I really don't remember what they were like. The folks at Martha were very friendly, and they even have a coat check.
Worst: The wording in the online ticket application and confirmation e-mail from the Daily Show was fairly snooty. They were ok in person, but there must have been something pretty irksome in that e-mail if I still remember it a year later.
Worth mentioning: The security guards at Millionaire were grumpy, but that's a separate part of the operation. They let Aja keep her wire cutters with her (for making her Halloween costume, I promise) mainly because they didn't want to stick around to give them back to her after the taping.
WAITING AREA BATHROOM
Best: Martha (does that surprise anyone?). It was actually a real public bathroom, at least as good as what you'd find at an airport or LDS chapel.
Worst: Colbert had one of those gas station-type restrooms, a closet where they stuck a sink and a toilet, and you're lucky if there's a garbage can. Much luckier if there's soap and TP. I didn't use the Daily Show bathroom, but I was told it was pretty similar.
Worth mentioning: It was nice enough inside, but to get to the Rachael Ray men's room you have to go down this weird, really narrow hallway. It's like they didn't think any male would ever want to attend the show, and did some hasty remodeling when they discovered their mistake.
WARM-UP COMIC
Best: Can't remember if Letterman had one, but I'm pretty sure he did. I like Rachael Ray's guy, RC Smith. He was pretty funny, didn't seem particularly bitter about his place in the world (many comedians do), and even ribbed me a little (he asked a guy in the crowd what his name was, he said Jeff, so I clapped).
Worst: Probably Colbert's guy, whose name escapes me. He wasn't bad, just not as good as the others. He also was the only one who had to deal with hecklers, and I admire the restraint he showed in that situation.
Worth mentioning: Paul Mercurio was the warm-up guy for Stewart when I went in April, and also for Millionaire when I was there in October. Don't know if he got fired from The Daily Show, or if they weren't taping that day, but I think the tapings overlap a little so he probably can't do both on the same day. But it was surprising to see him at the second show.
WARM-UP GUY AS AUDIENCE WRANGLER
Best: Probably Joey Kola, Martha's opener. He actually didn't tell any jokes, but I've seen him do comedy on TV before. He was the most thorough on telling us where to look, when and how much to clap, and even had specific hand signals for when the audience was supposed to "ooh" or "mmm."
Worst: Smith. He was funny, but did very little of the stuff Kola did, and as a result I don't think Ms. Ray always got the crowd reactions she expected or wanted.
Worth mentioning: When you're part of a live studio audience, they basically want you to overreact to everything, to clap and laugh often and loudly, so people watching at home will be tricked into thinking the show is good. Or something like that. And I totally buy into it. I'm a great audience member.
STUDIO
Best: It would be hard to make a case for any TV studio over the Ed Sullivan Theater, where Letterman does his show. It's history and size are impressive, and the studio extends, in a way, to neighboring businesses like Rupert's Hello Deli. Plus, as I mentioned above, we were in the front row! With my aisle seat, no audience member was closer to Dave while he did his monologue than I was (oh, I miss Winona Ryder jokes).
Worst: I'll go with Millionaire. Although it did have the little voting machines for the contestant lifeline, which was cool. Hmm. Although I didn't like everything about the various studio experiences, I guess there was nothing about the studios themselves that I really disliked.
Worth mentioning: As we sat down for the RR show, we noticed we were facing just one of the four or five sets in the studio. I joked that they must spin the audience around in between segments. I joked, because I haven't seen the show before--because that's exactly what they do. As RC said, the Rachael Ray seats are essentially a giant lazy Susan, which is pretty cool.
GUESTS
Best: When I went to Letterman, he had Halle Berry on, promoting the second X-Men movie (did I mention I was in the front row? sweet!), as well as Don Rickles, who as usual made a bunch of insensitive jokes and then yelled at the audience for not laughing at them. I love Don Rickles.
Worst: By default, Rachael Ray. They must have had celebrities with tight schedules, because while I was there all that they taped were two cooking segments and one audience question segment. As far as actual guests go, Cokie Roberts was pretty bland on the Daily Show.
Worth mentioning: As I've documented, Colbert's guest was relatively obscure but his segment was memorable. Kristin Chenoweth's appearance on Martha was pretty funny, including Kristin saying "orgasm" when she meant "organza" and Martha talking about "Christmas dreidels."
FREE STUFF
Best: Martha blows the competition away in this category. Not only did we get free food in line before we came in, but during the show we got to sample some gooey coconut dream bars made by Amy from Amy's Bread, another guest on that day's show. We also got a gift bag as we left the studio, which contained Amy's new cookbook (which I shamelessly regifted to my mom for Christmas), Chenoweth's new Christmas CD, and a bag of holiday M&Ms. Martha Stewart hooked me up.
Worst: They taped two episodes of Millionaire at the taping I attended. In between, they passed around hard candy for us to suck on so we would still have strong voices to yell and scream with during the second episode.
Worth mentioning: Rachael Ray gave everyone one of her magazines and a random treat (I ended up with a small box of chocolates), and I got a free Colbert Report t-shirt (proclaiming "it's what Lincoln would've watched" on the back) for answering a trivia question, but Martha's freebies were still the best.
SURPRISE
Best: Getting on the front row of Letterman and getting free stuff from Martha were unexpected bonuses, but the nicest surprise was probably that the Millionaire taping wasn't boring. It was actually a pretty fun experience.
Worst: However, Millionaire wins for worst surprise as well. After the taping, they let anyone who wanted to audition for the show (this was the reason I went in the first place). Shockingly, I did not pass the 30-question general knowledge test, the first part of the audition process! Trivia is supposed to be my strong suit. I left feeling very disappointed in myself.
Worth mentioning: Millionaire once again. Before the taping began, they had us all take our jackets off, because the episodes wouldn't air until May! (I was there in late October.) What happens if one of the contestants dies before it airs? That would be awkward.
OVERALL EXPERIENCE
Best: Colbert is my favorite TV personality, and his show is perhaps the best one currently on the air. Being there in person was amazing, and that episode was pretty funny (definitely one of the best that he did during the writer's strike). But that gift bag was impressive. Martha Stewart pulls off the big upset!
Worst: The Rachael Ray taping was so disjointed; it didn't feel like we were seeing a TV show (mostly because we were seeing parts of two shows). Plus, as I said, there were no celebrity guests (although they did give us a voucher to get back to the front of the ticket request queue, so we can come back and see a better episode). It was definitely the least enjoyable taping I've been part of.
Worth mentioning: I'm hoping to go to one of Conan's final episodes before he leaves for LA in March, and I may get bored or high enough someday to go see Tyra. And someday I will be in the audience for SNL. So this list is a work in progress, I guess.
Did I leave any categories out? Anything about the wonderful world of live TV that you're still curious about? Let me know in the comments.
Rachael's show is the sixth that I've been to in New York. I've been to The Late Show With David Letterman (in the summer of '03, the rest have been in the last year), The Colbert Report (my friend Tamara's grand experiment recently took her there as well), The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and The Martha Stewart Show (there, done with italicized titles for the rest of the post).
Assuming that everyone finds the television industry as mesmerizing as I do, let me share with you some of the highlights, lowlights and other notable observations from my experiences. If you ever take a trip to New York, try to work a TV taping into your schedule. And if you live here, take advantage--it's one of the best forms of free entertainment the city has to offer.
FELLOW ATTENDEES
Best: A tie between Aja, Amy, Ashli, Corina, Dyann, Jessica, Katie, Larissa, Natalie and Randall. (Like I'm going to rank my friends. Check two posts back--I'm too lazy for that.)
Worst: If all of my friends are tied for best, then I guess, by default, they're also all tied for worst. Sorry guys.
Worth mentioning: Joel would be on this list, but he didn't make it to the Daily Show studio in time. Such a shame.
IN-LINE EXPERIENCE
Best: Definitely Martha. They have trucks parked nearby where you can get free bagels, hot chocolate, cider, even White Castle cheeseburgers while you wait. A very pleasant surprise.
Worst: Colbert. This was the first time I had ever reserved tickets for a TV taping, so at the time I didn't realize that all shows say they distribute more tickets than they have seats (if you have non-standby tickets, you'll definitely get in as long as you're not really late). As a result, I showed up several hours early, and it was so cold that day. Plus, my friends didn't show up until nearly literally the last minute, so I didn't have anyone to talk to while I waited.
Worth mentioning: While you wait in line for Letterman, their audience coordinators interact with you, basically auditioning you so they can find the most energetic people and stick them in the front of the theater. Realizing this is what was happening, Natalie and Dyann pretended to be lesbians. We ended up in the front row.
AUDIENCE WRANGLERS
Best: These folks get a lot of different titles ("guest coordinators," "pages," etc.), but basically they just make sure everyone has tickets, doesn't have any weapons with them, and knows where they can and can't go both inside and outside of the studio. As I mentioned above, the Letterman pages probably did the most talking to the audience, but that was so long ago that I really don't remember what they were like. The folks at Martha were very friendly, and they even have a coat check.
Worst: The wording in the online ticket application and confirmation e-mail from the Daily Show was fairly snooty. They were ok in person, but there must have been something pretty irksome in that e-mail if I still remember it a year later.
Worth mentioning: The security guards at Millionaire were grumpy, but that's a separate part of the operation. They let Aja keep her wire cutters with her (for making her Halloween costume, I promise) mainly because they didn't want to stick around to give them back to her after the taping.
WAITING AREA BATHROOM
Best: Martha (does that surprise anyone?). It was actually a real public bathroom, at least as good as what you'd find at an airport or LDS chapel.
Worst: Colbert had one of those gas station-type restrooms, a closet where they stuck a sink and a toilet, and you're lucky if there's a garbage can. Much luckier if there's soap and TP. I didn't use the Daily Show bathroom, but I was told it was pretty similar.
Worth mentioning: It was nice enough inside, but to get to the Rachael Ray men's room you have to go down this weird, really narrow hallway. It's like they didn't think any male would ever want to attend the show, and did some hasty remodeling when they discovered their mistake.
WARM-UP COMIC
Best: Can't remember if Letterman had one, but I'm pretty sure he did. I like Rachael Ray's guy, RC Smith. He was pretty funny, didn't seem particularly bitter about his place in the world (many comedians do), and even ribbed me a little (he asked a guy in the crowd what his name was, he said Jeff, so I clapped).
Worst: Probably Colbert's guy, whose name escapes me. He wasn't bad, just not as good as the others. He also was the only one who had to deal with hecklers, and I admire the restraint he showed in that situation.
Worth mentioning: Paul Mercurio was the warm-up guy for Stewart when I went in April, and also for Millionaire when I was there in October. Don't know if he got fired from The Daily Show, or if they weren't taping that day, but I think the tapings overlap a little so he probably can't do both on the same day. But it was surprising to see him at the second show.
WARM-UP GUY AS AUDIENCE WRANGLER
Best: Probably Joey Kola, Martha's opener. He actually didn't tell any jokes, but I've seen him do comedy on TV before. He was the most thorough on telling us where to look, when and how much to clap, and even had specific hand signals for when the audience was supposed to "ooh" or "mmm."
Worst: Smith. He was funny, but did very little of the stuff Kola did, and as a result I don't think Ms. Ray always got the crowd reactions she expected or wanted.
Worth mentioning: When you're part of a live studio audience, they basically want you to overreact to everything, to clap and laugh often and loudly, so people watching at home will be tricked into thinking the show is good. Or something like that. And I totally buy into it. I'm a great audience member.
STUDIO
Best: It would be hard to make a case for any TV studio over the Ed Sullivan Theater, where Letterman does his show. It's history and size are impressive, and the studio extends, in a way, to neighboring businesses like Rupert's Hello Deli. Plus, as I mentioned above, we were in the front row! With my aisle seat, no audience member was closer to Dave while he did his monologue than I was (oh, I miss Winona Ryder jokes).
Worst: I'll go with Millionaire. Although it did have the little voting machines for the contestant lifeline, which was cool. Hmm. Although I didn't like everything about the various studio experiences, I guess there was nothing about the studios themselves that I really disliked.
Worth mentioning: As we sat down for the RR show, we noticed we were facing just one of the four or five sets in the studio. I joked that they must spin the audience around in between segments. I joked, because I haven't seen the show before--because that's exactly what they do. As RC said, the Rachael Ray seats are essentially a giant lazy Susan, which is pretty cool.
GUESTS
Best: When I went to Letterman, he had Halle Berry on, promoting the second X-Men movie (did I mention I was in the front row? sweet!), as well as Don Rickles, who as usual made a bunch of insensitive jokes and then yelled at the audience for not laughing at them. I love Don Rickles.
Worst: By default, Rachael Ray. They must have had celebrities with tight schedules, because while I was there all that they taped were two cooking segments and one audience question segment. As far as actual guests go, Cokie Roberts was pretty bland on the Daily Show.
Worth mentioning: As I've documented, Colbert's guest was relatively obscure but his segment was memorable. Kristin Chenoweth's appearance on Martha was pretty funny, including Kristin saying "orgasm" when she meant "organza" and Martha talking about "Christmas dreidels."
FREE STUFF
Best: Martha blows the competition away in this category. Not only did we get free food in line before we came in, but during the show we got to sample some gooey coconut dream bars made by Amy from Amy's Bread, another guest on that day's show. We also got a gift bag as we left the studio, which contained Amy's new cookbook (which I shamelessly regifted to my mom for Christmas), Chenoweth's new Christmas CD, and a bag of holiday M&Ms. Martha Stewart hooked me up.
Worst: They taped two episodes of Millionaire at the taping I attended. In between, they passed around hard candy for us to suck on so we would still have strong voices to yell and scream with during the second episode.
Worth mentioning: Rachael Ray gave everyone one of her magazines and a random treat (I ended up with a small box of chocolates), and I got a free Colbert Report t-shirt (proclaiming "it's what Lincoln would've watched" on the back) for answering a trivia question, but Martha's freebies were still the best.
SURPRISE
Best: Getting on the front row of Letterman and getting free stuff from Martha were unexpected bonuses, but the nicest surprise was probably that the Millionaire taping wasn't boring. It was actually a pretty fun experience.
Worst: However, Millionaire wins for worst surprise as well. After the taping, they let anyone who wanted to audition for the show (this was the reason I went in the first place). Shockingly, I did not pass the 30-question general knowledge test, the first part of the audition process! Trivia is supposed to be my strong suit. I left feeling very disappointed in myself.
Worth mentioning: Millionaire once again. Before the taping began, they had us all take our jackets off, because the episodes wouldn't air until May! (I was there in late October.) What happens if one of the contestants dies before it airs? That would be awkward.
OVERALL EXPERIENCE
Best: Colbert is my favorite TV personality, and his show is perhaps the best one currently on the air. Being there in person was amazing, and that episode was pretty funny (definitely one of the best that he did during the writer's strike). But that gift bag was impressive. Martha Stewart pulls off the big upset!
Worst: The Rachael Ray taping was so disjointed; it didn't feel like we were seeing a TV show (mostly because we were seeing parts of two shows). Plus, as I said, there were no celebrity guests (although they did give us a voucher to get back to the front of the ticket request queue, so we can come back and see a better episode). It was definitely the least enjoyable taping I've been part of.
Worth mentioning: I'm hoping to go to one of Conan's final episodes before he leaves for LA in March, and I may get bored or high enough someday to go see Tyra. And someday I will be in the audience for SNL. So this list is a work in progress, I guess.
Did I leave any categories out? Anything about the wonderful world of live TV that you're still curious about? Let me know in the comments.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
When yellow will be mellow
Of course I watched the inauguration, don't be ridiculous! Today's events made me think of this. I'm amazed now-President Obama never used this as a theme song for something, whether it be his campaign, the DNC, his victory rally (the show is set in Chicago, after all), or any of the inaugural events. The lyrics, as well as Cousin Balki's embodiment of the American Dream, seem right up Obama's alley.
Maybe that's one of the reasons I like sitcoms so much: when they're actually depicted, the red man can get ahead, man, and brown can stick around. And I guess we could add something like "folks from Mypos won't be treated like creepos." I'll keep working on that.
I voted for Obama, but I've always been a pretty casual fan. Today was pretty impressive, though. It was exciting to be a part of it. I was in awe at the sheer mass of humanity in attendance--it was as if the entire country was participating in a collective dance of joy.
USA! USA! USA!
Maybe that's one of the reasons I like sitcoms so much: when they're actually depicted, the red man can get ahead, man, and brown can stick around. And I guess we could add something like "folks from Mypos won't be treated like creepos." I'll keep working on that.
I voted for Obama, but I've always been a pretty casual fan. Today was pretty impressive, though. It was exciting to be a part of it. I was in awe at the sheer mass of humanity in attendance--it was as if the entire country was participating in a collective dance of joy.
USA! USA! USA!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Have it your way
I went home for Christmas and had a great time with my family. Two solid weeks of food, folks and fun (the first of many fast food slogan references in this post). Only one downside: my parents still use dial-up. Seriously. I had built up some good blogging momentum in December, but that was all lost in the series of tubes I had to go through to reach the Interwebs while in Utah.
But I saw something today that I knew I wanted to write about. Isn't that a phenomenal idea? For hours, I debated internally what was more important to me: friends or burgers. Ultimately, I decided I could spare ten of my 488 sanctioned-by-Facebook friendships. Alas, I waited too long. For some reason, the 'book put the kibosh on the entire operation.
I'm disappointed. I had envisioned an entire series of posts on this, a friendship tournament to determine which of my pals brings more to the table than a sandwich with flame-broiled beef, pepper jack cheese, and "angry onions." Or maybe I would've gone for 48 free whoppers and only kept the most elite of my amigos.
Even though it's now strictly a theoretical exercise, I still wonder what approach I would've/should've taken in deciding which friends get the axe. Should I get rid of the ones I know least well, the ones that are more "friends of friends" than actual friends? Should I eliminate ten of the many who I added as friends but have had no contact with since? Or should I go with an opposite mindset, and figure out who my very best friends are, figure out who would sacrifice their spot on my list so that I can enjoy a free burger? What do y'all think?
(In all honesty, I'm glad I didn't have to choose which friends to dump. I know people who have pruned their Facebook friend tree, and that whole process just reeks of effort. It's not for me.)
However, I'm hoping Facebook can still help me get free meat. Here are some other potential promotions I've come up with:
But I saw something today that I knew I wanted to write about. Isn't that a phenomenal idea? For hours, I debated internally what was more important to me: friends or burgers. Ultimately, I decided I could spare ten of my 488 sanctioned-by-Facebook friendships. Alas, I waited too long. For some reason, the 'book put the kibosh on the entire operation.
I'm disappointed. I had envisioned an entire series of posts on this, a friendship tournament to determine which of my pals brings more to the table than a sandwich with flame-broiled beef, pepper jack cheese, and "angry onions." Or maybe I would've gone for 48 free whoppers and only kept the most elite of my amigos.
Even though it's now strictly a theoretical exercise, I still wonder what approach I would've/should've taken in deciding which friends get the axe. Should I get rid of the ones I know least well, the ones that are more "friends of friends" than actual friends? Should I eliminate ten of the many who I added as friends but have had no contact with since? Or should I go with an opposite mindset, and figure out who my very best friends are, figure out who would sacrifice their spot on my list so that I can enjoy a free burger? What do y'all think?
(In all honesty, I'm glad I didn't have to choose which friends to dump. I know people who have pruned their Facebook friend tree, and that whole process just reeks of effort. It's not for me.)
However, I'm hoping Facebook can still help me get free meat. Here are some other potential promotions I've come up with:
- "If It Doesn't Get All Over the Place, It Doesn't Belong In Your Facebook"--free Carl's Jr. Six-Dollar Burgers to anyone who has a messy face in their profile picture
- free Big Macs for life to the guy who has the most female friends (get it?)
- "I'm Lovin' It"--a free sandwich for anyone who updates their status to say they are "in a relationship" with a McRib
- a free Wendy's Frosty for anyone who gets rid of all their friends
- an unlimited Sonic gift card for guys named Jeff (I love that place. And their commercials. But they need to bring back the pancake on a stick)
If you think of any more, leave them in the comments. I'm glad we're still friends.
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