Monday, April 6, 2009

Classic Region

March is over, but there's still a little bit of Madness remaining. Inspired by some entertaining non-traditional brackets on ESPN.com, I wanted to run a fantasy tournament of my own, and after considering YouTube clips, desserts, music videos, and some other options, finally settled on sitcoms. I'm not the first to attempt this, certainly, but I may be the only one to expand the field to 128.

Any "upsets" in a bracket like this are obviously the conceit of the author, since they have power both over the seedings and who advances. In ranking the shows, I tried to seed them according to how they are perceived by the general public, then declaring the sitcom I like better the winner.

I only included shows that I consider true sitcoms: half-hour shows that, ignoring the occasional "special episode," are not meant to be taken seriously. That's why you won't find Chuck, or Psych, or Ally McBeal, or various other quirky hour-long "dramedies" in the tourney. It's possible some of the older shows, or some of the cable shows, don't fit the 30-minute standard, but I didn't want to do the research to find out.

Up first is the "Classic Region:" shows that completed all or most of their run before I had ever heard of them. Thanks to syndication, I am now pretty familiar with many of them. Winners are in bold.

1ST ROUND

1) M*A*S*H* vs. 32) The Munsters
I've never seen an entire episode of M*A*S*H*, but I figure its classic-ness should carry it through at least one round.

16) Bewitched vs. 17) What's Happening!!
I actually liked the Will Ferrell movie version, unlike most.

9) Gilligan's Island vs. 24) The Partridge Family
Sad to see David Cassidy and company bow out this early. Danny Bonaduce doesn't seem to be handling defeat very well. Both of these shows would also do well in a theme song bracket.

8) Leave It To Beaver vs. 25) The Addams Family
This was a tough call, but painful memories of being called Lurch in junior high tipped the scales in the Beav's favor.

5) All In The Family vs. 28) The Monkees
AITF has Meathead, an oft-imitated opening, and Sammy Davis, Jr., kissing a racist. Clearly no match for the fake Beatles.

12) Mary Tyler Moore vs. 21) Taxi
Mary Tyler Moore was/is adorable, her show was about TV, and Andy Kaufman is highly overrated. No contest here. At least it started Tony Danza on a legendary streak of playing characters named Tony.

13) Laverne & Shirley vs. 20) Get Smart
My dad was a big fan of Get Smart. He also really liked Solid Gold. But in this case, his taste was spot on. Sorry Squiggy.

4) Happy Days vs. 29) Sanford and Son
Disappointed that the projected 2nd round matchup with one of their many spinoffs will not take place, the Fonz and company still manage to dispatch of the junkman.

3) I Love Lucy vs. 30) Hogan's Heroes
Nothing's funnier than Nazis and POWs, right? Except for Lucille Ball.

14) Newhart vs. 19) The Jeffersons
Bob Newhart had three shows, I think, in the '70s and '80s that were all named after him in some way. I don't know which is which, or which is better, but I am always entertained by him.

11) The Dick Van Dyke Show vs. 22) Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
The strongest endorsement for Gomer Pyle are the frequent mentions of the show or of Jim Nabors himself on The Simpsons. And the fact that Forrest Gump shamelessly ripped it off.

6) The Honeymooners vs. 27) Green Acres
Two more shows I've never seen an entire episode of.

7) Three's Company vs. 26) The Beverly Hillbillies
Without Three's Company, there may never have been a Friends, or a Seinfeld. Plus it had Don Knotts in it.

10) The Andy Griffith Show vs. 23) I Dream of Jeannie
But only one Don Knotts show will make the 2nd round. My inability to whistle may have factored into this decision.

15) The Odd Couple vs. 18) Welcome Back, Kotter
If Matthau and Lemmon had done the TV show too, they still may have fallen to the Sweathogs and Gabe Kaplan's mustache.

2) The Brady Bunch vs. 31) Good Times
If I could tell the difference between Good Times and What's Happening!!, the Bradys would still win. But maybe if the two shows combined, and the two casts somehow formed one family...

2ND ROUND

1) M*A*S*H* vs. 16) Bewitched
A Hawkeye is more impressive than a nose that can wiggle.

8) Leave It To Beaver vs. 9) Gilligan's Island
Why does everyone want to force you to choose between Ginger and Mary Ann? Don't they realize that when you watch the show you get both?

28) The Monkees vs. 12) Mary Tyler Moore
Davy, Peter, Mickey and Mike appear to be embarking on a George Mason-esque run.

4) Happy Days vs. 20) Get Smart
I'm a fan of shoe phones and Agent 99, but come on...Scott Baio and Mr. Miyagi were minor characters in Happy Days! That's tough to beat.

3) I Love Lucy vs. 14) Newhart
The ambiguity of Newhart's entry hurts his cause here.

6) The Honeymooners vs. 22) Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
The Honeymooners has a pretty simplistic approach, like watching a play on TV, that I really like.

7) Three's Company vs. 23) I Dream of Jeannie
Suzanne Sommers bests Barbara Eden in a battle of the blond bimbos--by a belly button.

2) The Brady Bunch vs. 18) Welcome Back, Kotter
John Travolta and friends get beaten by a nose. Yes, that nose.

3RD ROUND

1) M*A*S*H* vs. 9) Gilligan's Island
Suicide may be painless, but losing to a 9 seed isn't.

4) Happy Days vs. 28) The Monkees
What's the old saying--before you jump the shark, you have to jump the monkey? I think it's something like that.

3) I Love Lucy vs. 6) The Honeymooners
If you want to convince me Honeymooners is the superior show, you've got some serious 'splaining to do!

2) The Brady Bunch vs. 7) Three's Company
The island tiki puts a curse on John Ritter, and the Bradys advance.

REGIONAL SEMIFINALS

9) Gilligan's Island vs. 4) Happy Days
Chuck Cunningham makes a surprise return, and even in sitcom March Madness it's helpful to have someone with basketball skills.

2) The Brady Bunch vs. 3) I Love Lucy
This might be a good time to mention that I consider Lucille Ball the funniest woman of all time. I really do love Lucy.

REGIONAL FINAL

4) Happy Days vs. 3) I Love Lucy
Two great shows that have been the muse for everyone from Weezer to Weird Al. But while I'm not alone in my love for Lucy, only Joanie loves Chachi.

NIT bound: My Mother the Car, Too Close For Comfort, My Favorite Martian, Land of the Lost, Chico and the Man, Father Knows Best, Gidget, My Three Sons

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