Noughts Region

"How rude," you must be thinking. And you're right--but I ask you to "have mercy." Ok, I'll "cut--it--out" with the catch phrases and just apologize for somehow excluding Full House from this prestigious competition. I have no idea how it happened, but I'm guessing I had trouble deciding if it should be grouped with the '80s or the '90s, and ended up neglecting it altogether.

It would've likely been a top-10 seed in the '90s region, and probably won a round or two. It was a good show.

Here we are now with a bracket of 21st-century shows. As before, winners are in bold.

1ST ROUND

1) The Simpsons vs. 32) Yes, Dear/Still Standing
They're teamed up because I honestly can't tell them apart. Two very bland, nuclear family-type sitcoms. And we all know that Homer Simpson wreaks havoc with nuclear stuff.

16) King of the Hill vs. 17) It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
I've been told I would enjoy It's Always Sunny, but I am yet to try it out. So King wins by default, but it's also a very underrated show. It's like the ER of sitcoms, the show you assumed was cancelled six years ago but then are surprised to see it still in the listings. It's done amazingly well considering how little FOX promotes it.

9) Family Guy vs. 24) My Wife and Kids
Meanwhile, Family Guy is probably the most overrated show out there. But it's definitely funny enough to beat Damon Wayans in a non-Homey the Clown or Anton Jackson role.

8) Arrested Development vs. 25) 'Til Death
I consider the first season of Arrested the best season of any sitcom ever. Every episode of the series is on Hulu. There's no reason for anyone not to experience its awesomeness.

5) South Park vs. 28) Sons & Daughters
Seeds 28-31 went to shows that I grew attached to quickly and were cancelled before they had much of a chance to build a following. Unfortunately, this also makes it less likely they will ever turn up on DVD, but check them out if you get a chance. S&D was the best of these (but still doesn't advance in the tourney).

12) Scrubs vs. 21) Samantha Who?
It seems that Zach Braff is an acquired taste, and I am yet to acquire it. But there just aren't many good sitcoms from this decade.

13) How I Met Your Mother vs. 20) George Lopez
Never watched either of these shows. But one involves Danny Tanner and Doogie Howser, and that's enough. By the way, my sister says she'll scan her Neil Patrick Harris pic from Splash Mountain and send it to me, so look for that soon.

4) Two and a Half Men vs. 29) Notes From The Underbelly
Charlie Sheen's show is TV's most-watched, but not by me. Notes is another of those hidden gems that I wish had caught on.

3) The Office vs. 30) Free Ride
Free Ride was an endearing show, and even featured the legendary Kirby Heybourne, yet somehow got yanked off the air after just a couple of episodes. Bummer.

14) Malcolm in the Middle vs. 19) Extras
Two shows I saw for the first time in Scotland (Malcolm while on my mission; don't judge me). They're both really good. But Ricky Gervais's awkward humor, while a little raunchy, tickles my funny bone like few other things ever have.

11) Entourage vs. 22) Futurama
I have nothing to say about either show, so I'll take this opportunity to point out how my tastes have shifted over the years. You'll notice that none of those Disney Channel sitcoms show up here, whereas most of the shows I watched in the '80s were the wholesome, traditional family-based sitcoms. So Cheers would've probably done better in this tournament if it debuted in 1996, while That's So Raven would've ranked higher if it was on in 1987. Hmm, this paragraph turned out to be more boring than I anticipated. Moving along...

6) The King of Queens vs. 27) What I Like About You
My brother might be upset with me for picking against Amanda Bynes, but in my eyes Jerry Stiller can do no wrong.

7) My Name Is Earl vs. 26) The Bernie Mac Show
Considering how much TV I watch, it's surprising how many of these shows I've never seen a full episode of. But Earl would show up in my Netflix queue long before Bernie.

10) Curb Your Enthusiasm vs. 23) Reba
Many times I'd return home from work, and the first thing my then-roommate Jared would say is "want to watch Reba? This is one of my favorite episodes." He had a lot of favorite episodes. I haven't seen much of Curb, but I'm pretty sure I'd like it, considering Seinfeld won the '90s Region.

15) According to Jim vs. 18) The New Adventures of Old Christine
Again, Seinfeld connections help. Interestingly, Jim Belushi and Julia Louis-Dreyfuss were on SNL at the same time. Where's Tim Kazurinsky's sitcom?

2) 30 Rock vs. 31) Knights of Prosperity
I love that someone had the guts to pitch a show about a bunch of blue collar stiffs who plot together to break into Mick Jagger's house. I love even more that someone had the guts to put it on the air. I'm sad that it was taken away from me so soon.

2ND ROUND

1) The Simpsons vs. 16) King of the Hill
Yes, the peak Simpsons years were in the '90s, but this region had fewer strong shows, and I wanted them to be more balanced. Poor Hank Hill just can't escape Homer's shadow. Dang it, Bobby!

8) Arrested Development vs. 9) Family Guy
Like a basketball team that only shoots 3-pointers (or maybe Slam Ball is a better comparison?), Family Guy is the most gimmicky show in television history. Sometimes the gimmicks work, sometimes they're annoying, sometimes they're just lazy, and a superior team/show like AD will always figure out a way to beat the gimmicks.

5) South Park vs. 12) Scrubs
I admire South Park's integrity: they make fun of absolutely everybody. Their only agenda seems to be to try to be funny and entertaining, and I can respect that.

29) Notes From the Underbelly vs. 13) How I Met Your Mother
Like I said, I like Sons & Daughters better, but Notes has had a favorable draw in their part of the bracket.

3) The Office vs. 19) Extras
Which is Ricky Gervais's greatest creation? Extras was too short lived (less than 20 episodes total, I think) to be considered better.

6) The King of Queens vs. 11) Entourage
I'm not a big Kevin James fan, but I do like Stacey Carosi.

7) My Name is Earl vs. 10) Curb Your Enthusiasm
I usually mistrust guys with two first names, but since I have to pick one I'll go with Larry David over Jason Lee.

2) 30 Rock vs. 18) The New Adventures of Old Christine
I think a lot of people view Liz Lemon as the new Elaine Benes. I probably wouldn't go that far yet, but we're dealing with Christine here, not Elaine.

3RD ROUND

1) The Simpsons vs. 8) Arrested Development
Proof that I was honest in the way I've seeded these shows; otherwise I would've rigged it so these two didn't meet until the finals. Many would say that The Simpsons is past its prime, that the last few years haven't been very good, and they'd be right. Maybe even more right than they realize. I would say season 12 was its last great season, and they're on season 20 now. But when a hoops team builds a 45-point lead at halftime, they usually cruise to victory no matter how poorly they play after intermission. That's how good the early Simpsons years were.

29) Notes From the Underbelly vs. 5) South Park
Is it bad that I enjoy all of the Mormon references on South Park? Although they're making jokes, it seems like they actually respect Mormons, even though they don't agree with the religion itself.

3) The Office vs. 6) The King of Queens
It turns out that an office setting is funnier than a UPS setting, which I guess is why Darryl is just a minor character.

2) 30 Rock vs. 10) Curb Your Enthusiasm
Based on the show's cast and premise, I figured 30 Rock had a chance to be my favorite show ever. But I was actually underwhelmed by the first two episodes, and never watched it again until last fall. I am so glad I gave it another chance.

REGIONAL SEMIFINAL

1) The Simpsons vs. 5) South Park
Wow, if Family Guy had defeated Arrested Development, Simpsons would've defeated its top three animation rivals in succession.

2) 30 Rock vs. 3) The Office
This is a tough one. I give the nod to 30 Rock mainly because I think the conceit of The Office doesn't make sense. The film crews and confessional interviews add to the humor of the show, but it's not realistic to think that they'd be following these paper company employees around for five years. I really hope the series finale, whenever it is, is the finished Dunder Mifflin documentary. Now that would be a clip show.

REGIONAL FINAL

1) The Simpsons vs. 2) 30 Rock
This isn't a surprise to anyone who's known me for very long, right?

Dishonorable mention: The Michael Richards Show (Seinfeld cred only goes so far), The Mullets, Stacked