Monday, May 4, 2009

Grand slammed

It's been over a month since I found out, and I can finally write about this calmly. On March 31 my friend David texted me, informing me that Denny's had discontinued their peanut butter pie (I'm pretty sure the D grade is for "delicious"). I assumed this was a cruel April Fools joke, but he assured me he was serious.

It looks like he's right--there's several new cheesecake options that look tasty, but no PB pie. It's bad enough Denny's no longer has a buffet (classically referenced here, around the 3:15 mark); now they get rid of the number one superhunk?

(Oh, I refer to the desserts at Denny's as superhunks. This is in reference to a classic Simpsons scene, in which Marge is on trial for shoplifting. The exchange goes something like this:

Prosecutor: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, who do you find more attractive--Tom Cruise, or Mel Gibson?
Judge: What is the point of all this?
Prosecutor: Your Honor, I feel so confident of Marge Simpson's guilt, I can waste the court's time rating the superhunks!
Lionel Hutz (Marge's lawyer): Wow, he's gonna win.

One night after seeing that episode, David and I and some others went to Denny's and started equating actors to desserts. I can't remember which was which, but I'm sure the apple crisp was the superhunk we felt was most underrated. The peanut butter pie was definitely my favorite, though.)

When I was at Denny's with friends and we were in a dessert mood, I'd nearly always suggest the peanut butter pie. If just three people wanted it, it was cheaper to buy a whole pie, which meant six slices, which meant I was likely to end up with more than one. But now it's gone forever. I'd like to drown my sorrows in a lumberjack slam or some moons over my hammy, but there are no Denny's in New York City.

Sharing this vaguely related anecdote might cheer me up a little, though. I recently got a text (I don't text much, despite what this post indicates) from my friend Jen, who lives in Seattle, telling me she met my friend David (a different David), who I wrote with on the BYU paper, and later on he was in my ward. He once told this story during an Elders Quorum lesson.

Seems David was on a group date (four or five couples, I think) at a restaurant, which I'm pretty sure was IHOP. One of the other guys looked at David and asked, "are we going to pay together or pay separately?"


The two guys were briefly confused as everyone else at the table closed their eyes, folded their arms and bowed their heads...only in Utah, right? Probably. Man, I could go for some peanut butter pie right now.


Supermar said...

Seriously. You know how much I loved the Peanutbutter Pie. I was right there with you at Denny's ordering a whole pie. David texted you after I tried to order it & we found out that it didn't exist anymore. What is the deal with that!? Didn't anyone besides us 2 like it? But alas, my favorite superhunk was taken from us far too soon. Just like James Dean and River Pheonix. Maybe I'll set up vigil outside the local Denny's complete with flowers, photos of the deceased, and a cross. Are you in?

jeff said...

I am SO in. Just don't try to bring cards; you know that's not allowed.

Supermar said...

Oh yeah, the cards are a big no no! Don't even think about it. Maybe we could seen if Light will meet us there too! I'm sure he'd come.

Larissa said...

Ironically, a friend of mine had me stop at a couple of Denny's last summer looking for the same peanut butter pie you love. We were on the way to his mom's house and that was her favorite treat. He didn't believe the people at the store when they said they didn't make it anymore - hoping that they just meant at that particular store. Nope:-( Fortunately, I never tasted this delight, so I dunno what I'm missing :-)

angelalois said...

Jeff. I have news. I'm not sure if you're aware, BUT you can google recipes that copycat restaurant establishments, and I for one have tried some of these copycat recipes and they turn out AWESOME. For example I can make an amazing Olive Garden alfredo sauce. So my point is, I casually googled "denny's peanut butter pie" and found two or three or four recipes that could work for you. So my advice, if you're not feeling culinarily adventurous yourself, is to find some friends who are maybe girls who would like to make the pie for you. (Not that you couldn't do it yourself, I'm just saying!) Or if you ever want to come visit your friend Jen in Seattle you could also visit me!, and I'd make it for you. So. The world is not over. I was super distressed when they discontinued the Olive Garden's chocolate lasanga but praise heaven I have a copycat recipe. I'm clinging to hope. Anyway, that is all. Man this is long!

shabba shabba said...

I ate at Denny's 6 times in the month of April. Each time I used a 25% off coupon. This information is not very useful to anyone.

Jnuck said...

I feel honored every time I get a mention on your blog!

I have conferred with David and he confirms this hilarious story ... although he claims it was an Applebees.

jeff said...

Light (the horrible waiter referenced by Supermar) has worked at IHOP, Denny's AND Applebee's, so maybe that's why I got confused.

I like the idea of some girls making me a peanut butter pie. And going to Denny's 6 times in a month. Thanks for the suggestions everyone.