It's been over a month since I found out, and I can finally write about this calmly. On March 31 my friend David texted me, informing me that Denny's had discontinued their peanut butter pie (I'm pretty sure the D grade is for "delicious"). I assumed this was a cruel April Fools joke, but he assured me he was serious.
It looks like he's right--there's several new cheesecake options that look tasty, but no PB pie. It's bad enough Denny's no longer has a buffet (classically referenced here, around the 3:15 mark); now they get rid of the number one superhunk?
(Oh, I refer to the desserts at Denny's as superhunks. This is in reference to a classic Simpsons scene, in which Marge is on trial for shoplifting. The exchange goes something like this:
Prosecutor: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, who do you find more attractive--Tom Cruise, or Mel Gibson?
Judge: What is the point of all this?
Prosecutor: Your Honor, I feel so confident of Marge Simpson's guilt, I can waste the court's time rating the superhunks!
Lionel Hutz (Marge's lawyer): Wow, he's gonna win.
One night after seeing that episode, David and I and some others went to Denny's and started equating actors to desserts. I can't remember which was which, but I'm sure the apple crisp was the superhunk we felt was most underrated. The peanut butter pie was definitely my favorite, though.)
When I was at Denny's with friends and we were in a dessert mood, I'd nearly always suggest the peanut butter pie. If just three people wanted it, it was cheaper to buy a whole pie, which meant six slices, which meant I was likely to end up with more than one. But now it's gone forever. I'd like to drown my sorrows in a lumberjack slam or some moons over my hammy, but there are no Denny's in New York City.
Sharing this vaguely related anecdote might cheer me up a little, though. I recently got a text (I don't text much, despite what this post indicates) from my friend Jen, who lives in Seattle, telling me she met my friend David (a different David), who I wrote with on the BYU paper, and later on he was in my ward. He once told this story during an Elders Quorum lesson.
Seems David was on a group date (four or five couples, I think) at a restaurant, which I'm pretty sure was IHOP. One of the other guys looked at David and asked, "are we going to pay together or pay separately?"
The two guys were briefly confused as everyone else at the table closed their eyes, folded their arms and bowed their heads...only in Utah, right? Probably. Man, I could go for some peanut butter pie right now.